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EXT. TESCO SUPERMARKET - DAY
The area looks peaceful; however, a quartet of burglars gathers outside, preparing to commit their latest crime. They watch as a man in a French-style costume (complete with black and white striped shirt and black beret) walks inside.
LEAD BURGLAR
OK, here we go.
The four burglars run in after the Frenchman.1
(01:00:15.00-01:00:29.99)
INT. TESCO SUPERMARKET - DAY
The burglars attack and mug the nearest customers, including the Frenchman.
LEAD BURGLAR
Nothing worthy on him, only bloody Euros!
BURGLAR #2
What did you expect? He's French!2
LEAD BURGLAR
Shut it, you mother–!
(01:00:30.00-01:00:44.99)
A girl is checking out the aisles by herself. We'll call her SHEILA PRESTON. She turns her head toward the source of some rough-sounding noise.
SHEILA
Uh-oh… it sounds like there's a barney going on…
SHEILA runs toward the source of the noise.
(01:00:45.00-01:00:59.99)
The burglars continue their spree and manage to kill someone in front of his niece, in her school uniform. The niece is frightened; the burglars, even moreso. They start out of the supermarket.
(01:01:00.00-01:01:14.99)
SHEILA continues running toward the source of the noise. She stops and lowers her head in sorrow after several seconds of running.
(01:01:15.00-01:01:29.99)
The sorrowful sight that caused SHEILA to stop is the other girl, called PADME AMIDALA MORTON (PAM for short), next to her uncle's dead body. SHEILA slowly approaches the scene.
(01:01:30.00-01:01:44.99)
SHEILA walks up to PAM, removes her coat, and puts it on her.
(01:01:45.00-01:01:59.99)
PAM looks up and sees the comforting face of a girl her age.
SHEILA
Everything will be all right, girl. I'm with you. Come.
SHEILA extends her hand in friendship.
(01:02:00.00-01:02:59.99)
OPENING TITLES
(01:03:00.00-01:03:44.99)
Funding for this program is provided by the National Science Foundation, where discoveries begin, the Corporation for Public Broadcasting…
…the National Endownment for the Arts, the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation, the Arthur Vining Davis Foundations, and the Carnegie Corporation of New York.
Explore new worlds and new ideas through programs like this, made available for everyone through contributions to your PBS station from Viewers Like You. Thank You.
(01:03:45.00-01:05:43.09)
INT. DORMITORY - DAY
PAM is snoozing on the top bunk of a bed, with SHEILA sleeping below her.
PAM (V.O.)
That was seven years ago, the first time Sheila and I met. She was a mysterious young thing, yes, but she was friendly. Until she came along, I didn't really have any friends. You see, I'm a Jedi. I guess you could say it's because my father's a Christian, and my mother's a Buddhist. However, I almost never wear a hood; you see, I've seen the movies.
PAM's digital alarm clock rings. The ringtone is a series of random notes that sound like they were played on a Moog. She falls out of bed and starts getting ready for school, disappearing into the closet and then the bathroom.
PAM (V.O.)
By the way, my name is Padme Amidala Morton. Pam for short. My father had always considered the name Padme for me even before my conception, and that was before he saw the trailer for Star Wars I at the local cinema. He told me that before I was conceived, he wanted an exotic name for his child. That he chose the name Padme for me is thus a coincidence. My peers didn't believe it, though; they were as vicious at mocking me as Jake Lloyd's peers were at mocking him. Poor kid. No wonder he gave up on Star Wars completely after a couple of years. However, he still has a bunch of fans to impress, so he still goes to Star Wars conventions just for them.
PAM emerges wearing her school uniform. She walks up to her alarm clock.
PAM (V.O.)
Anyway, back to me. With everything I went through in grade school, can you blame me for wanting to be called Pam? 'Course, I've made some other friends since then, but they all went to different schools. Not Sheila. She's been by my side ever since my uncle bought the farm at the supermarket. She's a nice girl, yes, but she's also a bit playful.
PAM notices that the time on the alarm clock is 4:04.3
PAM
I knew something wasn't right… I mean, I couldn't see a hint of sunlight through the windows when I got up!
SHEILA is getting up herself.
SHEILA
I'm sorry to say that that was me. I thought that you getting up early would get rid of that problem you had last year with being late for school.
PAM
Seriously. Not. Cool.
SHEILA
Well, a limey's got to be punctual, right?
SHEILA starts to get ready herself. After several seconds, it cuts to her and PAM eating their breakfast.
PAM (V.O.)
Yeah, she's mysterious, all right; I don't know where she comes from, but I know she isn't a native of Mother England. Officially, she identifies herself as Sierra Leone Creole on her father's side and Dutch Boer on her mother's side. Perhaps she was born in South Africa? Either way, she's told me both her parents are dead.
(01:05:43.10-01:08:29.74)
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
PAM and SHEILA are already seated as two girls, one Asian and the other Caucasian, walk in to be introduced. The Asian girl is called ALICIA O. DIAMANTE, and the Caucasian girl is called SAMANTHA B. DIAMANTE. They write their names on the chalkboard as the teacher, JONAS WHEELER, looks on.
ALICIA
We're the Diamante twins. My name's Alicia, and my sister's called Samantha, or Sam for short. As you might have guessed, we're fraternal twins, born to a Japanese mother and an Italian father. I guess you could say we've had a lot of spaghetti jokes directed at us. Don't ask; you've heard the story of Marco Polo.4 Plus, we're used to those jokes.
A girl wearing casual attire raises her hand. We'll call her SUSANA CORTEZ.
SUSANA
Does the O stand for anything?
ALICIA
Glad you asked. The O, my middle initial, as the American noticed on the chalkboard, actually stands for Orihime, as in Vega, the brightest star in the constellation Lyra; my sister's middle initial, B, stands for Bisuko5, as in the comic book writer from Saitama. Why our parents decided to give us European first names and Japanese middle names, I'm totally at a loss. We don't mind either way, honest! But personally, if you're going to bring up our middle names, using our middle initials would be nice.
PAM raises her hand.
PAM
Can your sister talk?
SAM
Oh, yes, I can. It's just that when we introduce ourselves, Alicia prefers to do all the talking, and furthermore–
ALICIA puts her hand over SAM's mouth.
ALICIA
That's enough, Sam. I'm the one who prepared the introduction. Anyway, we hope to have a good time here at Iglioba Academy!
JONAS
Yes, girls, now, please take your seats. There's a couple of empty ones together. One's next to Pam, the other next to Sheila.
ALICIA and SAM walk to their seats and sit down.
PAM
Are you two by any chance familiar with this place?
ALICIA
No. No, we're not.
SAM
I'd like to know what we're to expect here.
SHEILA
If Pam's going to be your tour guide, which I bet she will, you're in luck; she transferred in at the start of her first year in high school, and I along with her. The year isn't quite over yet; we're in the spring term, and she had a problem with tardiness early on, but it was minor and easily curable. She's seen practically the whole school. I personally recommend her as your tour guide!
PAM
Very well, then. After classes are over for the day, then?
ALICIA
Certainly.
SUSANA is glaring at SAM.
SAM
This American… she gives me the creeps.
ALICIA
I'm sure she's nicer than you think.
SAM
But the things they say about this American… I don't think she likes me.
ALICIA
Shut up. You're making me feel uneasy around her, too. I'm your sister, after all!
PAM
Calm down, Alicia. You too, Sam. Susana doesn't like me, either. And she merely tolerates the teacher! Yet has she ever gotten into a violent altercation here? Even so, that she hasn't even received a single detention yet is an exercise best left to the Iglioba administration; I asked about her just last week, and they said she didn't have a single incident here. Even though she doesn't wear a uniform, it's quite clear that boarding school has done wonders for her behaviour. For the most part, at least. I know why they called her the Joker back in America.
(01:08:29.75-01:11:55.06)
INT. DANCE STUDIO - DAY
Several girls, all in pink, are gathered for rhythmic gymnastics training. One of them is RYAN MONTANA, a half-Russian girl with dark hair, green eyes, and glasses. She's practicing with the ribbon. A younger teammate, CARROLL WINSTON, is stretching next to her.
RYAN
So why did they call her the Joker where she came from?
CARROLL
I heard she wore makeup.
RYAN
Makeup? You mean there was a time when she was soft?
CARROLL
Actually, it was to intimidate her fellow students. You know, war paint.
RYAN
I wonder if all Americans are like that?
CARROLL
Like what?
RYAN
Warmongers.
CARROLL
Tsk, tsk, tsk. You know very little about the world around you.
RYAN
Except for England and Mother Russia, of course. My dad had a friend in Russia. He was very critical of capitalism, but not to the extent of the Bolsheviks. No, he was very critical of the local capitalists playing up stereotypes about Russian bankers, and he believed that they make the Commies look better by comparison, to say nothing about how Russian bankers are already having a hard enough time as it is without the dishonest bankers proving the stereotypes to be true. That's why he studied finance in a Japanese university–he wanted to prove that Russian capitalists could be decent men, like my father and Winston Churchill. He certainly had a strong spine; he was the only banker in the land my father knew that he could trust. Their relationship was strong from their first meeting, after the fall of the Soviet Union. He was also my godfather, and the one that set my father up with my mother, a Bolshoi ballerina who was friends with modern-day ballet legend Svetlana Zakharova. My older sister is following in her footsteps with the Royal Ballet. Madame Zakharova was her godmother.
CARROLL
Who was your godmother?
RYAN
Nadia Comăneci.6
PAM, SHEILA, ALICIA, and SAM enter the studio.
PAM
And this is where the dance studio is. It's such a spacious area, the regulars are able to share it! Over there, the girls in black, are the ballet students. There's also some boys, but their uniform is, obviously, different. And on that side, the girls of our rhythmic gymnastics squad are practicing their own craft. They're the ones who wear pink. And you thought that was the colour worn by the ballerinas...
ALICIA
Who's the tall, dark and bishoujo girl with the gymnastics ribbon?
PAM
She's Ryan Montana, and she's one of the most skilled at what she does, at least as far as Mother England's concerned. But she's not the captain. The captain is actually 100% limey, and her name is Noah Kent.
SAM
Noah?
PAM
Hey, Miley's sister is named Noah, so why couldn't she?
ALICIA
You and your obsession with weird pop celebrities from Planet Earth.
CARROLL
Planet?
PAM
She once played an extraterrestrial in community theatre in Italy, and she sometimes slips back into character.
SHEILA
The risks of being a character actress, I'm afraid.
ALICIA walks up to RYAN, who puts down her ribbon.
ALICIA
You know, for someone as mature as you, you're certainly bold enough to wear pink.7
RYAN
Why shouldn't I? It's my favourite colour, after all!
ALICIA
You just don't seem like a cutesy type to me.
RYAN
Neither does Susana Cortez.
ALICIA
Who is she, anyway? She creeps me out; when her name comes up, Sam and I get scared.
RYAN
You should be. I hear she intimidated her fellow classmates by wearing war paint at her old school. I don't know why, but she hates her own kind with a passion. She's half-and-half, and yet she hates both halves equally. She's also the lead singer and guitarist of the school band, HFR.8 But she didn't join willingly. Her bandmates roped her in before they even had a name... which she chose out of spite. For the name, she chose one of the most controversial hot topics going on in the film industry.
ALICIA
She named it after a controversial technology?
RYAN
Yep. "A bit of compensation," she says, "for having to hang out with a mick, two limeys, and a Kraut." Yep, she's as racist as they come.
PAM
Hurry up, Alicia, or you're going to miss the rest of the tour!
ALICIA
I'm coming, Pam!
ALICIA bows to RYAN.
ALICIA
Excuse me.9
ALICIA rejoins the tour group.
(01:11:55.07-01:14:01.00)
INT. FASHION STUDIO - DAY
A bespectacled girl, LAYLA WATERS, is showing off some of the new outfits she designed. Models are dressed in the outfits and pose in front of a single hi-resolution camera as pictures are taken.
LAYLA
My mother once said, "Be versatile in your designs, and always strive for top quality." The school tailor has enough resources to accomplish the demanding tasks we the fashion designers impose on him, assuming we don't have the resources ourselves. I am pleased to say that I am among those that do. The model being photographed right now is clad in a dress inspired by the Gothic Lolita style. Only three colours: black, dark blue, and white. The white stockings make quite the contrast to the dress, and the blue ribbons look lovely on our model.
PAM, SHEILA, ALICIA, and SAM walk in.
PAM
Here is where the fashion team here at Iglioba shows off whatever new clothes are designed under its auspices. Over there is one of the designers, Layla Waters, and the model right now happens to be… Zebulon… Marlowe.
ZEBULON
I knew you'd recognise me…
PAM
It's no big deal, Zeb. I'm not saying it doesn't look good on you, but if you were a girl, it'd look gorgeous on you!
ZEBULON
Thanks…
PAM
Any time… oh, no, here comes trouble.
A French exchange student had just walked in. He happens to be one of the fashion critics.
FRENCH CRITIC
'Ello, gov'neur,10 sorry to drop in uninvited.
ZEBULON
No, you're not.
FRENCH CRITIC
That outfit you're wearing… I'm afraid not even a girl would want to wear that dress! And those ribbons! Who do you think you're modeling as, the Black Swan?11
LAYLA
Enough! Scram, you blooming slag! GET OUT!
LAYLA violently ejects the critic from the studio.
LAYLA
And stay out!
PAM
Why did you do that?
LAYLA
This is why I hate the French–they seem to think they know everything about fashion! Obviously, they're unfamiliar with Lolita styles!
ALICIA
Pardon the lame joke, but did that French jerk just go on a Lolita haze?12
LAYLA
Yes! And this time, he dared to haze a Gothic Lolita model! I'm so sick of the French! They even tormented my mother when she became a professional fashion designer!
SHEILA
There you have it: Layla Waters may be sugary sweet on the outside, but she's dedicated to her work, and… it'd be best if you didn't get her angry.
ALICIA
Where to next?
(01:14:01.01-01:16:23.44)
INT. MUSIC ROOM - DAY
A dark-haired German-born drummer, GOTTLIEB ULRICH, is laying down a beat on his kit. About halfway through, he misses a beat. SUSANA, already annoyed by the company of Caucasians, is angry.
SUSANA
No, no, no, no, no! If we're going to cover a children's television theme song for our next concert, we'll need to do it perfectly! That includes the drums especially! Play it more slowly, Kraut! Slow and steady, and you'll get the hang of the beat within the week. And as for you, Dick the Mick, I want your voice to be spic-and-span by the time we perform one week from now–you're my backing vocalist for that song!
RICHARD ROBBINS, who had been playing acoustic guitar alongside GOTTLIEB's drums, removes his guitar and puts it down.
RICHARD
Very well, I guess I'll start by being span.
SUSANA
Don't you start emulating my bigotry now! And that goes double for the coño who wrote this script!13
MEREDITH THORNTON, the bassist, starts jamming on his bass.
SUSANA
If there's one thing I like about you, limey, it's that you take up after the great Cliff Burton.14 Keep up the good work.
MEREDITH
Thanks.
PAM, SHEILA, ALICIA, and SAM enter the room.
PAM
And this is where HFR practices for its concerts and sometimes even records its music on compact cassettes. Susana seems to be rather worked up today. Did the drummer miss another beat?
SUSANA
What are you looking at, you honky punk?15
PAM
Don't mind me, angry white girl, I'm just taking some fresh meat on a guided tour.
SUSANA
Fresh meat, indeed… your honky friend doesn't look fresh to me.
PAM
You're right, she's been here as long as I have. The other two are new here… and they're scared of you, but they want to know more about you.
SUSANA
What's it to you, honky?
PAM
For example, why do you hate gringos so much?
SUSANA
Gringos? GRINGOS!? How dare you assume I use such foul language, you honky redneck!? I prefer the more refined Anglophone terms, such as Yankee.
PAM
And honky, it would seem.
ALICIA
It would seem she really hates you, sister.
SUSANA
How could I possibly hate someone who's got at least some Japanese blood flowing through their veins?16
PAM
Let's go. I don't want any trouble with you when your band is in the middle of practice.
PAM, SHEILA, ALICIA, and SAM depart.
SUSANA
Fine! Be that way, you scholarship honky! From the top, now! 3! 2! 1!17
(01:16:23.45-01:16:44.43)
INT. SECOND FLOOR CORRIDOR - DAY
Somewhere down the tour course, the tour party stops.
ALICIA
Quick! In there!
PAM
But I'm the tour guide!
ALICIA
Just do it! I'll explain shortly!
The tour party retreats into an empty classroom that ALICIA had pointed to as a young boy shows up to try to cause trouble. We'll call him HYDE. He has his fists in front of him.
HYDE
Put 'em up! Put 'em up! What the 'ell are you, cowards?
(01:16:44.44-01:18:16.46)
INT. EMPTY CLASSROOM - DAY
PAM visibly scowls.
PAM
Call me a coward, will he? Well, I've seen the movies, and the Jedi are not known for their cowardice. Indeed, even in hiding Yoda was waiting for Luke to come to Dagobah, and Obi-Wan was waiting for the right moment to introduce Luke to Jediism… and for that hologram message from Princess Leia to be delivered by R2. Me, I could take that little brat with my eyes closed and both my hands tied behind my back!
SAM
Well, don't start now!
ALICIA
Just… listen very carefully. This is important.
PAM
Well, go ahead and tell me before I go outside to wallop that brat!
ALICIA
Well, the thing is… we're not human.
PAM
What?
ALICIA
And even by Jedi standards, you're not normal.
PAM
Great… here come the Jedi jokes again.
ALICIA
You think I'm joking, Padme? Let me show you proof that I'm not joking!
PAM
And how the kriff did you know my real name?
ALICIA
We the people of Dreamland have been watching you night and day, because we know who you really are.
PAM
But I don't know who you really are.
ALICIA
If you insist…
ALICIA and SAM transform into bats. PAM is visibly shocked.
ALICIA
My real name is Alodia.
SAM
And mine is Basia.
PAM
What kind of names are those!?
ALICIA
Names from our homeworld.
PAM
And who is that brat that dared call me a coward?
SAM
That is Angau agent Hyde. He's more or less a pipsqueak compared to his colleagues, he should be easy, but don't be too full of yourself. He may not like zombies any more than Mary Whitehouse18 did, but even with his fists, he can pack one hell of a punch!
A phone suddenly appears.
PAM
What is that?
ALICIA
That is what you use to transform!
PAM
A… cell phone? How cliche! Why that instead of something decidedly more advanced?
ALICIA
It was that or our arses being sued off by some California legal psycho.19
PAM
That California legal psycho manufactured my personal computer!
ALICIA
And dared to take a stand against IBM's growing dominance of Silicon Valley back in the '80s. Seriously, can you name one revolution since America declared independence in 177620 that hasn't gone bad?
PAM hesitates to answer.
ALICIA
Remember, Robespierre and Stalin overthrew tyrannies once upon a time, too.21
PAM
Never mind the revolutions gone wrong! We're not talking about politics, we're talking about how to deal with that Hyde brat outside!
SAM
Just remember what you saw on Pop Girl!22
PAM
But… what about those Card… Commune things?23
SAM
How about a number sequence?
PAM
Which buttons?
ALICIA
Seven numbers, easy to remember. 4-2-7-1-9-7-7.24
(01:18:16.47-01:19:28.90)
TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE
PAM
Pretty Cure! Mirai, mostrati!25
The transformation takes place.
CURE CINEMA
The fluidity and resourcefulness of motion pictures, I am Cure Cinema! All for fun, and fun for all!26 Club Pretty Cure!
(01:19:28.91-01:23:24.99)
INT. SECOND FLOOR CORRIDOR - DAY
CURE CINEMA suddenly balks.
CURE CINEMA
What the kriff did I just say!?
HYDE
So you're the legendary Pretty Cure I've 'eard about, eh?
CURE CINEMA
One of them, yes.
HYDE
The name's 'Yde, but you can call me Eddie. Now that we've introduced ourselves, put 'em up!
CURE CINEMA
Sure, but… where's your monster?
HYDE
Eh, don't like 'em! Too bloomin' creepy, them zombies!
CURE CINEMA
OK, but be warned–you're going into a fistfight against a Pretty Cure, which is inadvisable!
HYDE
All the better for me–I'm just practice!
CURE CINEMA
Bring it on, then, if you're not so scared!
HYDE
Me? Scared? 'Oo the 'ell are you kidding!? 'Ave at thee!
CURE CINEMA promptly puts her fists in front of her and blocks HYDE's punch. She then grabs him and swings him over her head, slamming him into the ground.
HYDE
Whoa, you're being too rough! No need to trip out on the roughness!
CURE CINEMA jumps over a sweeping kick, but she gets punched in the nose. HYDE promptly sticks his thumb out of his fist and wiggles it.
HYDE
Got your conk!
CURE CINEMA
Hey, give it back, you!
CURE CINEMA runs over, grabs HYDE's fist, and forces it back onto her face.
CURE CINEMA
Think twice before trying to grab my nose, Eddie!
HYDE manages to sweep her.
HYDE
When you 'ave to punch, punch! Don't talk!27 Also, when will you show me what you've got in you? Because I'm just about to!
HYDE sets up a forcefield.
CURE CINEMA
That's your best move? A magic forcefield? Your magic is no match for me!
CURE CINEMA tries to punch HYDE, but she's blown back.
HYDE
Wait until the red plasma gate reopens, Jedi!28
CURE CINEMA scowls.
CURE CINEMA
Not him too…
ALICIA
What did you expect? You didn't use your offensive manoeuvre!
CURE CINEMA
That's crazy! How do you expect to attack someone with kriffing filmstrips?
SAM
Not filmstrips, Padme, but a solution!
CURE CINEMA
What kind of solution? Dip?
SAM
Toxic to humans, lethal to cartoons!29 I was thinking something that could get through his magic!
CURE CINEMA
Like, say, silver?30
ALICIA
That could work, except he isn't a vampire, number one, and number two, he just doesn't like zombies!
SAM
You could try Merxenon quartzes!
CURE CINEMA
What do they do?
SAM
They're strong enough to shatter magic forcefields like the one Hyde's got set up, and they're made of mercury and xenon!
ALICIA
Hence the name.
One such crystal appears in front of CURE CINEMA.
CURE CINEMA
What do I do now?
ALICIA
When you throw the crystal at the forcefield, the xenon will react with the mercury and trigger a chain reaction which will shatter the crystal, turn the shards into liquid, and dissolve the forcefield in less than thirty seconds after contact. It is inadvisable to try this and other similar actions with Merxenon quartzes on anything other than magical beings or objects or the like.31
CURE CINEMA
Understood.
CURE CINEMA takes the crystal and winds up.
CURE CINEMA
Anti-Projection Projection!
CURE CINEMA throws the crystal at the forcefield. The crystal shatters, and the shards melt. The forcefield is slowly destroyed.
HYDE
What is this magic!? I never knew you could cancel out a projection with a projection! You win this time, but don't think you've seen the last of me!
HYDE retreats.
ALICIA
Another thing I need to mention: merxenon is toxic to humans. Don't touch it, and if it's in a gaseous form, wear a gas mask.
CURE CINEMA
But… how do you expect to get this cleaned up?
SAM
Alodia and I will do it; even in humanoid form, we're immune to the stuff.
ALICIA and SAM transform into humanoids, still wearing their school uniforms. They locate a mop, intending to clean up the merxenon mess.
CURE CINEMA
One last thing I need to know right now about merxenon: can a human build up an immunity to it?
ALICIA
Well, nobody ever tried to.
ALICIA and SAM start to mop up the puddle of merxenon.
(01:23:25.00-01:23:54.99)
Next time on CLUB PRETTY CURE…
Aña Cortez gets into an argument with Susana, her older sister, and decides to join another club.
(RYAN) - You're a good American, one of the few. More than I can say about your sister, anyway.
Ryan takes Aña under her wing, Alicia joins the rhythmic gymnastics club, and a new enemy surfaces to raise merry hell with the living dead!
(SVETLANA) - We're coming to get you, Barbara!
Will Pretty Cure stop this new threat? Will Aña remain as HFR's songwriter? Will she prove herself to Noah Kent? {"Shall We Dance?"/"Strictly Come Dancing"}, next on CLUB PRETTY CURE. See what we can do with 3D next time!
(01:23:55.00-01:24:24.99)
CLOSING CREDITS
(01:24:25.00-01:25:09.99)
Funding for this program is provided by the National Science Foundation, where discoveries begin, the Corporation for Public Broadcasting…
…the National Endownment for the Arts, the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation, the Arthur Vining Davis Foundations, and the Carnegie Corporation of New York.
Explore new worlds and new ideas through programs like this, made available for everyone through contributions to your PBS station from Viewers Like You. Thank You.
(01:25:10.00-01:25:15.99)
Be more. PBS.
(01:25:16.00-01:25:45.99)
BLACK SCREEN
Notes[]
- 1.^ Not all French characters wear black and white striped shirts and berets. This one was probably an off-duty mime.
- 2.^ The British and the French use different currencies (the pound and the Euro, respectively).
- 3.^ 404 is British slang for "clueless".
- 4.^ It is unknown whether spaghetti originated in Italy or in China; one legend states that Marco Polo introduced spaghetti to Italy from China.
- 5.^ The specific author is Bisco Hatori, the author of Thousand Years of Snow and Ouran High School Host Club.
- 6.^ For the record, Nadia Comăneci is a gymnast, but she's an artistic gymnast, not a rhythmic gymnast.
- 7.^ Pink is seen by some to be a childish colour.
- 8.^ Short for "High frame rate", a controversial innovation in film technology that debuted on The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.
- 9.^ A typical display of Japanese politeness. As a farewell, Alicia bows to Ryan and says, "Excuse me." This is a cliche found in several Japanese animations.
- 10.^ The French critic establishes himself by making a mockery of the Cockney dialect.
- 11.^ The Black Swan, whose real name is Odile, is an antagonist in many versions of Tchaikovsky's ballet Swan Lake. The French critic is mocking one of Layla's designs by comparing it to Odile's black tutu, and as will be mentioned in a later episode it's a personal attack against Layla, considering that she made several costumes for a recent school production of Swan Lake.
- 12.^ A pun on the name of the title character of Lolita, Vladimir Nabakov's controversial novel which was adapted into a movie by Stanley Kubrick featuring Peter Sellers.
- 13.^ Susana states exactly what she personally thinks about the screenwriter for his initial concept of her, which was far worse (and which the author is most certainly not proud of).
- 14.^ Cliff Burton was a virtuoso with the bass and is best remembered as a member of Metallica until his tragic death in 1986.
- 15.^ Susana twists a quote by insult comic Don Rickles, who made a catchphrase of calling people "hockey pucks".
- 16.^ It's hinted that the only ethnicities Susana despises are her own.
- 17.^ In case it wasn't obvious, HFR is working on a hard rock version of the theme from the 1980 PBS TV series 3-2-1 Contact.
- 18.^ Mary Whitehouse was a key figure in the Video Nasty crisis, which saw 72 movies, including several about the living dead, marked as liable for prosecution.
- 19.^ A potshot against Apple Computer, who has lately been engaged in lawsuits over the Android platform with intent to kill. This is hypocritical, as this and future episodes of the series are typed out on a MacBook.
- 20.^ A revolution that has, for the most part, lived up to its ideals.
- 21.^ Robespierre fought the French aristocracy and, after killing the king, became a tyrant himself and ruled France with an iron fist before being killed by his own party of proto-Communists just over a year later. Stalin was once a loyal ally to Lenin, the leader of the Russian Revolution, but after Lenin's death, Stalin took over and virtually undid everything his dearly departed ally worked hard to accomplish and established himself as far worse than Tsar Nicholas.
- 22.^ The English dub of Futari wa Pretty Cure was broadcast in the UK on the Pop Girl channel.
- 23.^ The protagonists of the above-mentioned series, which the screenwriter considers superior to his own works, used Card Communes to become the titular magical warriors.
- 24.^ Magnetic Video Corporation released 427 videocassettes under that name and started the home video revolution, another revolution gone right, in 1977.
- 25.^ "Mirai, mostrati!" is Italo-Japanese hybrid for "Show thyself, O future!"
- 26.^ A direct reference to The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas and its numerous film adaptations.
- 27.^ In The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Tuco Ramirez says a similar thing after gunning down a bounty hunter for mouthing off when said bounty hunter could've easily killed him in the middle of his bath.
- 28.^ A reference to the climactic showdown between Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi (a Jedi Master and his soon-to-graduate Apprentice) and Darth Maul (a Sith Lord and apprentice to Darth Sidious) in Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace.
- 29.^ Dip is a substance invented by Judge Doom in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? for the purpose of committing genocide against cartoons (ironically his own species).
- 30.^ Silver is said to have magical properties; a popular application is as a werewolf repellent.
- 31.^ Alicia uses several technical and legalese terms to try sounding official about how to use Merxenon quartzes.