(Against an ocean background, Takashi Edwards says "This is viewer-supported JOTO-TV and JOIT-TV." as a blue/red bar flips in with Ni-JOTO, JuGo-JOIT, and the NHK logo on it.)
As Sakura is eating her Reese's Puffs, something comes to her mind as we hear her voice.
"My name is Sakura Cobain. My father, Tamaki, has a new job at Public TV For Isuten, on channel 2 for JOTO-TV and channel 15 for JOIT-TV. He and the voice of Public TV For Isuten, Takashi Edwards, have become fast friends since his arrival.
"And that's not the only reason why I felt lucky then.
"As I was leaving Isuten Junior High after my first day there, I saw some sheets lying around. Thinking nothing of it, I picked them up and headed for the Roxy Recording Studio to look for the guy who dropped them. And who was it other than W. Benny Bara?
"And then I found myself living the life I had seen Nadeshi and Hanako live: a double life as a student and warrior.
"And to top it all off, I'm getting to help with the recording of the new Pistols N Flowers album, Venezuelan Democracy!"
As Sakura finishes eating, her father yells, "Hurry up! You did say you wanted to make a quick stop at the Roxy Recording Studio, now, so come on!"
"Coming!" Sakura grabs her bag and heads out the door.
(OP: "Hopscotch of Love" by Lovely and Wild Angels)
"Our Lady Marilyn summons Reverend Zero!"
Zero appears before Lady Marilyn, the terrifying leader of Mansonia, the hellhole of devil worshippers and Satanists and the like.
"I've got some good news and some bad news, my fair lady."
"Go ahead, Zero," Lady Marilyn says. "Tell me."
"The bad news is, those two dogs, Rocky and Poppy, escaped from the Land of Rock."
Lady Marilyn is stunned. "Where are they now?"
"That's the good news," Zero assures her.
Lady Marilyn is pleased. "Another land to take over, eh?"
"Right," Zero says. "The Land of All Music. I was going there to fetch them, but some God-fearing twerp jumped my Akumana before I could claim them. I take it they might not return now that I've found them out?"
"Where is it?"
"Roxy Recording Studio."
"Any place where we could lure them?"
Zero said, "There's a music store a few miles away. It's called Hot Topic, and apparently that's where girls go to get Gothic fashions and everyone who appreciates hard rock in general goes to get their music."
Lady Marilyn says, "May Mansonia be with you." With that, Zero disappears.
The 1994 Honda Integra pulls over at the Roxy Recording Studio. "Don't take too long, or you'll be late."
"Got it!" Sakura exits the vehicle and sees Rocky and another dog, Poppy, standing there.
Once the two parties rendezvous, they enter the studio.
"OK, so my life is no longer going to be mundane. So what? I actually like my new life."
Rocky says, "You were here for a reason: because you're one of the legendary Pretty Cure team that protects the Land of Rock and the Land of All Music."
Sakura says, "OK, now I'm officially confused."
Poppy says, "The Land of Rock is where Rocky and I live. The Land of All Music is where you live."
"Meaning, this very land I'm in?"
Sakura says, "I'm glad I get to live like Pure Pink and Pure Blue."
"Pure Pink and Pure Blue?" Poppy is confused. "Who're they?"
Sakura says, "If you spent a lot of time in this so-called Land of All Music, you'd know the legend pretty well. Pure Pink and Pure Blue make up Hearty Pure, which is just like your Pretty Cure.
"Legend has it that two women named Nadeshi and Hanako, guided by two spirits, protected the spirits' world and their own from a great evil. I'd like to know what great evil Pretty Cure is facing at this hour."
Rocky says, "You're dealing with a land of Satanism called Mansonia.
"Long ago, the denizens of the Land of Rock rocked hard in peace. But that all changed when Mansonia invaded, intending to enslave the Land of Rock.
"To prevent this, the king of the Land of Rock, Presman, charged myself and Poppy with protecting a vital asset to the Land of Rock, Pistols N Flowers.
"The time will come when we need the group's musical rebelliousness to combat Mansonia, with the help of Pretty Cure."
Sakura suddenly glanced at the clock and said, "Oh, look at the time! I don't wanna be late for school. See you guys later!"
Sakura then hurried back to the car where her father was waiting to take her to school. He was obviously proud of her for keeping track of time.
At lunch, Rizuka is trying to find a place to sit. "Where would be a good place for me to sit?" she asks Sakura.
"Right this way," Sakura says.
The two reach the very table where Sakura had sat the day before. Rizuka asks, "Who're they?" She had noticed three girls sitting at that same table.
Sakura smiles and says, "Oh, they're just good friends I made yesterday. Their names are..." She then says as she points to the respective girls, "...Shugo Kino, Isuzu Watanabe, and Taiko Sorano.
"Shugo is the tomboyish leader of the drama club, who always plays boys. It's like she enjoys the occasional visit of the Takarazuka Revue or something.
"Isuzu is in the music club. She plays the bass. On the outside, though, she's actually one of the cooler kids, infatuated with Pistols N Flowers and Metal Racer.
"Taiko's father produces music albums. She plays drums as a hobby, and she wishes to be part of her own band."
Rizuka steps up to the girls. "I'm Rizuka Kuno, self-proclaimed Gdansk fan, Perky Goth Extraordinaire, Hot Topic customer, Phony Nails Number 9 groupie (though that merely means I hang out with them), and daughter of the lead guitarist for Phony Nails Number 9."
Isuzu's jaw drops. Taiko says, "Wow... that's a long title."
Shugo just says, "Oh, really? Please join the drama club. I'm still looking for a Wicked Witch of the West."
Rizuka says, "Thanks, but I prefer to simply watch these plays you people put on." Aside to Sakura, she says, "That's the thirteenth time she's asked me to join her club!" "I heard that!"
Rizuka quickly adds, "Not that it's a bad thing. I just like watching the club's shows, that's all." "Oh."
Sakura says, "I hear that several of Shugo's boys, especially during their first years here, have played a girl at least once."
Rizuka's eyes widen. "Is this true?"
"Hard to believe, but yes," Shugo says. "Go ahead, Rizuka. Call me a perv. I dare you. I double dare you, mother--"
"Watch it, Shugo!" Sakura warns her. "You're in school. If a teacher hears you call anyone, let alone a student, an MF, you'll risk getting suspended at the very least. Then what would happen to your precious drama club in your absence?"
"Anyway," Shugo says, "during my first year here, one of my boys played the part of Nadeshi in our production of Hearty Pure."
"Really?" Rizuka asks. "That kid was really something. Rarely do I see any boys play girls on stage, and even more rarely do I realize a boy is playing the part. You see, they're so convincing!"
Shugo says, "On the rare occasion I get an androgynous male in my club, he'll play a variety of parts, both male and female.
"Take Mitsuru Takahashi, for example. He's played Hester Prynne in The Scarlet Letter, the title character in The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya: A Comedy in Seven Acts, Toru Honda in Fruits Basket, and Henrietta in Gunslinger Girl."
"All those parts played by a boy?" Rizuka is shocked. "Wow! I've never seen such a talented boy in my life!"
"You seem to be under the impression that all the boys have got talent as girls," Shugo says, patting her chest. "I don't have any talent myself."
Sakura says, "Clearly you've been watching too much crappily Americanized anime, Shugo. And that goes for you too, Rizuka!" Clearly Sakura had understood that talent got its name from a certain "crappily Americanized anime", having seen the offending episode via satellite when she was little. It inadvertently referred to a big rack.
"I'm A-cup too," Sakura added quickly. "And I'm proud of it!"
Shugo asks, "Why?"
"A flat chest is a status symbol!" Sakura says. "Extremely rare and valuable!"
Shugo says, "I'll have to agree with you. Mayumi Thyme of Shuffle! and Konata Izumi of Lucky Star think so too. Otherwise, where would the popularity of the pettanko be?"
Sakura says, "Lina Inverse was a pettanko, but not in the strictest sense. However, the mere mention of her rack--or lack thereof--would result in the offender being cooked by a Dragon Slave."
Rizuka says, "Enough talk about our rack sizes. It's getting too perverted. Let's talk about Hot Topic instead." Little did she know that she'd be part of Pretty Cure's adventure when she went to Hot Topic that afternoon...
(Eyecatch 1: Rizuka and Shugo are jamming when Sakura runs past them and grabs the microphone. The PCHM logo appears in the bottom-left corner.)
(Eyecatch 2: The camera goes between Isuzu on her bass and Taiko in her drum kit and stops when Sakura with the microphone is in view. The PCHM logo appears in the bottom-left corner.)
Sakura walked like she did the day before after leaving Isuten Junior High for the day. Before leaving, she stops by the Isuten Junior High Memorial Garden, where students pay tribute to their deceased fellow students.
Sakura notices a name there: MASAKI YAMAMOTO, BORN 3 JUNE 1992, DIED 8 FEBRUARY 2007. DEVOTED DRAMA CLUB MEMBER AND BELOVED TEACHER'S PET. STRUCK DOWN BY A LONE GUNMAN WHILE VISITING TSUKIMIYA.
Suddenly, she received the vision again: man walks to gun, picks it up, puts it to his head, and fires it. Sakura had a thought after that: Maybe he was murdered, like poor Masaki. Maybe it wasn't suicide after all.
In any case, she noticed the picture of Masaki during his first production with the drama club. In that picture he was onstage as Rachael in Blade Runner with third-year student Ichiro Asakura as Rick Deckard.
Those two were good together.
Sakura reaches the house, but she passes it by, instead heading for the home of Public TV For Isuten, which was just down Mokuten Higashi Avenue.
When she goes inside, she finds herself curiously going through the place. She finds Tamaki there, speaking with Takashi Edwards, the voice of Public TV For Isuten. "Hi, dad!"
Tamaki gets up. "Oh, hi, Sakura. I was just talking with a new friend of mine."
Sakura asks, "Who is he?"
Takashi gets up and says, "I'm Takashi Edwards, the voice of Public TV For Isuten."
Sakura is amazed. "Wow! So you're the guy who does the voiceover on some of the local underwriter tags, as well as the signon, signoff, and station IDs."
An employee shows up and asks, "Who's this cute girl?"
Sakura gets up and says, "I'm Sakura Cobain. I'd like to see how things work here."
The employee says, "Gee, I'd be glad to show you around, as you're the daughter of the new broadcast technician."
The tour reaches the screening room, where Sakura is treated to a clip show that started with the Japanese National Anthem and the signon clip of a red scrolling background with the Ugly NI, the '70s style JuGo, and the NHK logo etched into it. Takashi Edwards's voice is heard saying the following:
"JOTO-TV and JOIT-TV begin their telecast schedule for today. JOTO-TV operates on Channel 2 and assigned a frequency of 54 to 60 MHz, with 100 watts visual and 20,000 watts oral power, by the authority of Nihon Housou Kyoukai in Shibuya, Tokyo.
"JOIT-TV operates on Channel 15 and assigned a frequency of 476 to 482 MHz, with 2240 watts visual and 448,000 watts oral power, by the authority of Nihon Housou Kyoukai in Shibuya, Tokyo.
"JOTO-TV and JOIT-TV are owned and operated by the Isuten Koukyou Housou Kyoukai, with the studios located in Isuten on Mokuten Higashi Avenue. The transmitter for JOTO-TV is located atop Hikuiyama near Tsukimiya, and the transmitter for JOIT-TV is located atop Eibino One near Isuten.
"JOTO-TV and JOIT-TV programs are transmitted through microwave stations WGR-93 and WGR-94. On behalf of the entire staff and management of JOTO-TV and JOIT-TV, this is Takashi Edwards inviting you to stay tuned now to channels 2 and 15."
Additional clips included, but were not limited to, footage from Hearty Pure and its modernization, Futari wa Hearty Pure, Glowing Time Station, Jidai the Science Guy, and the NHK Just Watch Us Now promo.
When it's all over, Sakura applauds.
Rizuka is minding her own business at Hot Topic, shopping for Gothic fashions and hard rock albums. Suddenly, Zero appears and possesses the cash register with his Akumana.
Apparently, Rocky and Poppy had ESP, because within minutes, they had arrived with Cure Nirvana.
Cure Nirvana sees Zero standing there. "So you're the Candle Jack/Harry Warden loo--"
Before she could complete her sentence, Zero punches her hard. Nirvana gets back up and said, "Maybe I shouldn't have said his name."
Then, taking a stylus-operated cell phone Rocky gave her, she throws it to Rizuka, saying, "Rizuka! Go into one of the restrooms and transform!"
Rizuka enters, swipes the stylus across the screen, and says, "Pretty Cure Musical Transumtation! Go!" What follows is basically what had happened when Sakura had transformed.
When the new warrior emerges, she says, "The pulsating rhythmical remedy to the universal Mansonian problem, I am Cure Stradlin!"
Cures Nirvana and Stradlin then say, "This is Pretty Cure!"
The cash register starts throwing coins at the Cures and bystanders. Nirvana asks, "Who the hell do you think this monster is, Heiji Zenigata?" Stradlin says, "Yeah, I've heard of him. His chief weapon is his ability to toss coins at his opponent."
Nirvana picks up the coins thrown at her and says, "Two can play at that game." She then proceeds to use rakansen on the monster.
"Quick, Rizuka! Use your finishing move!" Nirvana shouts.
Stradlin uses Hammerspace to pull out a guitar and plays a C chord. "PRETTY CURE NOISE DISTORTION!"
The magnitude of the C chord eliminates the monster. Nirvana picks up the remaining coins dropped on the floor and uses rakansen on Zero, who runs away with his tail between his legs.
When it's all over, Nirvana says, "I've got a proposition for you, Rizuka."
"What is it?"
"Do you want to start a band with me when we have enough people in our group?"
(ED: "Raw and Wild" by Lovely and Wild Angels)
(Next episode preview)
SAKURA: Hey Shugo, what's your makeup?
SHUGO: Aluminum paste, just like with Jack Haley. I don't want to get my lungs coated.
SAKURA: You'll have more than that to worry about.
SHUGO: What? What do you mean?
SAKURA: If you're not careful, Candle Jack's coal mining brother will attack you like you're as li-- YOINK!
SAKURA: Sorry, that's the only way to make that joke funny. Next episode: "The Wild One"! We're coming live and loaded!