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Il videogramma raro - The Rare Videogram

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CONTENT WARNING: BRIEF STRONG LANGUAGE. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

Previously on Futari wa Pretty Cure Dragon...

"Muramasa may have been done with swords after that one, but he instructed his young apprentices to forge special swords for you, Susan, and Kelly in gratitude for defending his finest creation."

Ryan said, "I'll bet it's going to take a while to get them ready."

Newton said, "They'll be ready by Christmas."

Bailey said, "The apprentices will be forging the swords using a special ore from the land of martial arts."

Susan said, "I get it! We're going to receive our power-ups!"

Kelly said, "Yeah, and it's about time. I wonder if we'll get them before Eileen performs her alleged yearly prank on the dormitories?"

Eileen said, "Last year, I wired the speakers to play The Star Wars Holiday Special over the intercom!"

Rica said, "For once, a common taste Eileen and I have--we both like that piece of crap."

Ryan said, "I've been dying to get my hands on one! Do you have one, Eileen?"

Eileen said, "Yes, I do."

Ryan asked, "How much?"

Eileen said, "How about $400? That should be a good deal, right?"

Ryan groaned and said, "You prankster."


OP: "Danzen! Futari wa Pretty Cure Dragon ~hybrid version~"


"Il videogramma raro - The Rare Videogram"


"Cheapskate."

Rica was just annoyed as Ryan. "You're kidding, right?"

Eileen said, "Well, actually, no. Not this time."

Ryan said, "Like hell I'll be paying that much for a simple 2-hour tape!"

"You got a better idea?"

"Yes--I have reason to believe there may be a copy in one of the local used video stores."

Eileen said, "Well, best of luck to you then, Ryan! I'll be waiting for the results!"

She then left. Rica said, "All right, let's strategise our next move. And you listen up, limey; it's important information for you!"


Rica laid down a map on the table in the dormitory, marker in hand.

"All right, peeps, listen up!" she barked. "Today, we commence a videocassette hunt: Operation Wookiee!"

Susan was confused. "Operation Wookiee?"

"As in the subject of the subject of our videocassette hunt!"

Kelly said, "OK, that sounded corny."

Rica said, "To be specific, we're looking for The Star Wars Holiday Special, the limited edition released on Betamax and VHS by Magnetic Video Corporation. It's said to be the only videocassette release ever!"

Ryan said, "That's obviously why collectors are after it."

"I see your point," Rica noted. She started marking down locations on the map. "Anyway, these are the video stores in which we'll be looking for the tape. I expect there to be high enthusiasm in our search!"

Kelly asked, "So what exactly is the plan?"

Rica said, "Simple: we just go in and look in the science fiction section of each store. If we find it, then good. If not, then we move on to the next store."

Ryan asked, "What's the order of stores?"

Rica said, "Glad you asked! In this order, we'll be looking in Lone Star Video, East Side Movies, Interstellar Video, Video Classics Central, and Ye Olde Video Shoppe."

Susan said, "Ye Old Video Shoppe sounds old-fashioned."

Rica said, "I know; it looks like a hotspot for fans of the Renaissance Fair."

Ryan asked, "So when do we start?"

Rica said, "No time like the present, limey!"


The first stop, obviously, was Lone Star Video. It looked like something out of one of those Spaghetti Westerns.

Rica said, "Check this out--it looks like a saloon, complete with the swinging double doors and the employees in costumes!"

Kelly said, "I remember this place--it was the site of a brawl that I forcefully broke up once. Some mean varmints trying to kill each other, that's what to expect in a place like this. That or some irritable honky who's just looking for a fight."

Susan said, "Watch your language, Kelly; that's a naughty word."

They entered through the saloon-style doors. Rica yelled, "Hi! We came here in search of a particular videocassette that only comes by once in a blue moon."

The shopkeeper said, "Sure, go right on ahead."

They started looking in the science fiction section. Suddenly, a pair of burglars burst in and yelled, "All right, this is a holdup! Don't anybody move! Hands up! Heads down!"

Kelly recognised the two men. They were on the WANTED posters in Sheriff Watson's office! She snarled, "All right, you dirty sons of bitches, I am Sartana, your angel of death!"

The burglars yelled, "Not fooled! Sartana's a grown man and a bounty hunter! You're just a teenage girl who's not feminine!"

Kelly snapped. "I'm not feminine!? I'M NOT FEMININE!?!?!?"

She picked up the burglars and threw them out the door. She came at them with some rope, and they ran away. She said, "I don't think they ever saw Get Smart."

Back in the store, Rica shook her head in shame and said, "Epic fail, even by Steven Seagal's standards."

"Yeah," Ryan agreed, "even Apache Blood was much more exciting than what we just witnessed."

Susan said, "Even worse, the tape's not here. I even did a thorough check of the television section just to be on the safe side."

Suddenly, a fight started when a tough guy burst in, challenged another customer to a duel, and called him chicken. The customer punched him with these words: "Nobody calls me chicken!"

Ryan said, "Let's get the hell out of Dodge!"

He, Susan, Rica, and Kelly left the store before the brawl could intensify.


Their next stop was East Side Movies, which looked like a Chinese movie palace.

Ryan said, "OK, I've heard of Grauman's Chinese Theatre, but I've never imagined that there'd be such a place as Grauman's Chinese Video Store."

They entered through a guillotine door, which opened by itself and waited for everyone to cross the threshold before slamming down rapidly a few seconds after the last one went in.

Susan was amazed. "It really does look like an ornate palace on the inside and the outside…"

Kelly said, "Yeah, like a cross between those Sonny Chiba/Kinji Fukasaku period pieces and the original Star Wars trilogy!"

Rica said, "Thanks for reminding me what we were looking for; I almost forgot myself."

Ryan said, "The Star Wars Holiday Special."

Rica said, "Yes, that's what it is we're looking for!"

They were met by a pair of employees dressed as stormtroopers. "Hold it. Which sector are you looking for?"

Rica said, "Science fiction."

"Right this way, please."

As they were led to the door, Rica noted, "The full name of the sector, in case you haven't been here before, is Science Fiction and Fantasy."

A guillotine door opened. Ryan, Susan, Rica, and Kelly entered. The guillotine door slammed shut in less than a quarter of a second as soon as they were all through.

Rica said, "The sectors are all thematic based on the genre. What you're looking at is a room with metal walls, ventilated floors, and streamlined shelves. The Western section looks somewhat similar to the interior of Lone Star Video; the Action section looks like a police station; the Drama section looks similar to the Globe Theatre; the Comedy section looks quite absurd, with funny drawings all over the walls; the Thriller section looks like a courtroom; the Horror section looks like the library of a haunted house; the Classics section looks like one of those nickelodeons; the Family section looks like a home theatre; and the Foreign Films section looks more, um, Oriental than the others."

They were already searching for The Star Wars Holiday Special. Sadly, no dice. They left through the guillotine door and were met by the same employees. Rica said, "Television."

"Right this way, please."

Kelly said, "They're quite the fanboys, aren't they?"

Rica said, "Yeah, and there are even females dressed as stormtroopers. Just Rule #63 in play."

They went through the guillotine door, and it slammed behind them. Rica said, "Note the cameras all over the room. They look like your average everyday broadcast TV cameras, but it's really a hardcore method of putting the brakes on shoplifting. Seriously, when East Side Movies finds weird ways of beefing up security, they don't fuck around."

Ryan said, "Let's keep searching."

After a while, they turned up nothing. As they left, Rica said, "We didn't find what we were looking for. Better luck next time, I guess."

Their next stop was Interstellar Video.


EYECATCH


"Now, Interstellar Video," Rica noted, "looks kind of like a spaceport, kind of like you see in those science fiction space operas. Like Lone Star Video, you'll find all tapes in the same area, and not just in separate rooms like with East Side Movies."

As they passed through the double doors, Ryan said to himself, "At least the doors open and close much more smoothly…"

The music playing sounded like a catchy synth/jazz fusion piece. Kelly noted, "The music sounds befitting of what we're looking for."

They went straight to the science fiction section, trying to look for the tape. Upon noticing an employee dressed as an alien stocking the shelves, Ryan said, "Call me crazy, but I don't think that guy looked human."

The employee shouted in his direction, "E chu ta!"

Ryan blushed and exclaimed, "How rude! Well, now I know that Interstellar Video's up to the same tricks as Lone Star Video and East Side Movies."

They continued their search. They did a thorough check among titles beginning with S, but sadly, no luck.

Susan said, "Let's check the television section and be careful not to run into any more employees who can make a sailor blush for mistaking them for their uniforms."

As they went into the television section, they came across another employee dressed as an alien. He said, "You'll have to excuse my co-worker here. He seems to have a sailor mouth problem triggered by unknowing customers mistaking him for the alien species he's dressed as."

Kelly said, "No harm, young man. Our friend here was just taken aback, that's all."

"Anyway, I hope you find what you're looking for!"

They started checking the television section, including looking through the titles that started with S.

Following the check, Rica said, "Five used video stores in Millennium City, and it's not in the one where you'd expect it to be! Come on guys, let's check Video Classics Central. Y'all have a nice day now, you hear?"


Once inside the store, they were amazed at its interior. Rica proudly noted, "Now that's what I call a theatrical video store!"

Ryan asked, "Aren't they illegal?"

Rica said, "Not that kind of theatrical video store! I was noting the similarities to the interior of a cinema! Like hell they're screening movies at this joint! I should know, I've been here before. Come to think of it, there's a lot of posters from yesteryear being displayed…"

They advanced to the science fiction section as always, looking thoroughly as some golden oldies played over the intercom. Susan said, "This music is always quite relaxing after we fight those bad guys."

Ryan said, "You can say that again."

The search continued. As always, their main focus was tapes that start with S.

As in, Star.

Soon, Rica noticed something. "It feels like Christmas already, considering Christmas songs are playing. Here, customers experience yuletide tunes from the likes of Sinatra, Ives, Crosby, and other musical stars of yesteryear."

An employee came up and said, "We have a Christmas section, you know."

Kelly said, "No wonder we couldn't find The Star Wars Holiday Special here."

"Why don't you try the Christmas section?"

Rica said, "Gladly!"

So off to the Christmas section they went, in search of that cash-cow holiday special of legend.

Even then, their search failed to turn up the tape. Rica said, "Merry Christmas, y'all, and I hope I find what I'm looking for somewhere else. After all, these stores can't have everything, and therein lies half the fun of searching there: you never know what you're going to get!"

"Have a nice day, and the best of luck to you!"


Their last resort, Ye Olde Video Shoppe, was the oddest of the bunch.

It looked like a Medieval shop, complete with stones and old-fashioned woodcarvings.

Rica said, "If that ain't Medieval World, I don't know what is!"

They entered the store and, you guessed it, went straight to the science fiction section.

On and on they searched for that holiday special of yore, all the way from the As to the Zeds.

Still no tape.

However, Eileen was in the store. "You given up yet, Ryan?"

Ryan said, "No, but at this point I'm considering it."

Eileen said, "Very well. Let me know when you have $400 on you, all right?"

"They don't need to, milady."

Ryan saw a figure dressed as a knight walk up to him. "Out of the goodness of my heart, I've decided to hold this VHS cassette especially for an old friend who I thought would be coming by around this holiday season."

Kelly asked, "Who is he?"

Rica said, "Just another of Ryan's friends from junior high, I'll bet."

Removing his helmet, the employee said, "And you would be right!"

Ryan recognised him immediately. "Why, Richard! I'm so glad to see thee, fair sir."

Richard said, "And the price for this VHS cassette of The Star Wars Holiday Special is $5."

Eileen said, "Compared to me, that's a real bargain. You should listen to him."

Paying up, Ryan said, "A wise decision on my part, young lady."

"And a wise decision you have made, my friend," Richard noted. "Have a nice day!"

Rica said, "Thank you for your assistance, O fair knight!"

Richard said, "You're quite welcome!"

They left the store.


That night, after watching the tape, Ryan said, "For a 105-minute slice of cheese, that one was quite tasty!"

Rica said, "I agree with you. Do you think it'll be released on a high-definition videodisc in the near future?"

Ryan said, "Don't you read the news, Rica? It's more likely to happen now than it ever was."

Susan said, "Time to get some shuteye now. We have classes tomorrow."

Kelly said, "Yes, that would be a good idea. Good night, y'all."

As our pajama-clad heroes turned in for the night, Ryan said, "Good night."

Then he turned off the light.


ED: "Anataboshi (When I Come to Your Star with My Love)"


Next episode: "Per un pugno di pugni - A Fistful of Fists"

Voice actorsEdit

JapaneseEdit

EnglishEdit

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