CONTENT WARNING: MODERATE LANGUAGE
The Literature Clubroom is nearly deserted.
Only Kyon and Yuki are present.
Kyon is about to leave when Yuki asks, "Did you read the book?"
Kyon asks, "Do you mean that strangely thick hardcover?"
"No, not yet… should I return it?"
"That won't be necessary."
Then, with a commanding voice that Kyon seems to vaguely remember, she says, "Read it today. As soon as you get home."
Kyon says, "I understand."
Kyon then exits the Literature Clubroom.
Little does he know that he's about to find out the truth about Haruhi and that she may not have been as autistic as she had let on…
(OP: "Bouken Deshou Deshou? (cover version)" by Emma Watson)
Today's episode: "More to Haruhi Than Meets the Eye"
Kyon enters his room and falls onto his bed.
He takes his book out and is amazed at how huge it is. He says, "I wonder if I'll be able to clear this mother before the night is out…"
He starts flipping through the book. A bookmark falls out. He picks it up. The text on the back?
7PM. I'LL BE WAITING IN THE PARK IN FRONT OF KOUYOU PARK STATION.
Kyon says to himself, "I knew it… she really needed me to notice as soon as possible! But that voice… could she be Cure Extraterrestre?"
He glances at his watch. "6:45… and the station is 20 minutes away considering traffic regulations… I've got to get there now!"
As he dashes out of the room, he sees Akari eating some ice cream. She asks, "Where are you going, Kyon?"
Kyon says, "The station."
Kyon hops onto his bike and starts pedaling. He says, "I think this is a sick prank. I'm going to laugh my ass off if I don't see Nagato there."
Twenty minutes later…
Who's laughing now, Kyon?
Yes, sitting on that bench is Yuki Nagato.
She stands up.
She's still wearing her uniform.
Kyon asks, "Was today OK?"
"Could it be you've been waiting here every night?"
"Is it something you could't talk about at school?"
The two reach a condominium. Yuki says, "Here."
Yuki enters a password and enters the elevator, with Kyon following after parking his bike.
The elevator reaches the 7th floor. Kyon asks, "So where are we going?"
"My home. No one's here."
The two reach 708. Yuki says, "Enter."
The door opens. Kyon goes in. The door closes. Both are inside. Yuki says, "Go in."
The two remove their shoes. Pointing to a table nearby, Yuki says, "Sit."
Kyon obeys. He asks, "Where's your family?"
"They aren't here."
"Well, I can see that. Are they out?"
"I am the only one who is ever here."
"You're living alone?"
"So what did you want?"
Yuki pours some tea and says, "Drink."
Kyon drinks the tea without figuring out what it may have been laced with. Yuki asks, "Is it good?"
"Yeah. So could you tell me why you brought me here? What couldn't you tell me at school?"
Yuki says, "It's about Haruhi Suzumiya--and also about myself. That is what I need to talk about."
"What about you and Suzumiya?"
We see footage of Haruhi, dressed in a Ronnie James Dio T-shirt, jean shorts, and red tights, practicing her tai chi as Yuki speaks.
"It is difficult to convey in words. Discrepancies may arise during the transmission of data. Regardless, listen.
"Haruhi Suzumiya and I are not ordinary humans."
The rest of Yuki's description intercuts the scene of herself and Kyon in her apartment with footage of Haruhi's tai chi practice and illustrations of what she's trying to convey with her loquaciousness.
Kyon says, "I kind of knew that already."
"That isn't what I mean. I am not referring to the absence of universally accepted personality traits. I mean what I said: she and I are different from the vast majority of humans like yourself."
"I don't get it."
"A humanoid interface from Paranormaland, purposed to make contact with organic life forms as watcher for the supervisor of this galaxy, the Data Overmind. That would be me.
"My job is to observe Haruhi Suzumiya and report all obtained data to the Overmind, a task I have performed since my birth three years ago.
"During the past three years, no uncertain elements appeared. The situation was extremely stable.
"However, recently, an irregular factor which cannot go unheeded has appeared near Haruhi Suzumiya.
"That would be you."
To put Yuki's words in a nutshell:
The Data Overmind is a shapeless being composed of data with a high level of intelligence, born from a sea of data covering the universe.
Born as data, congregated with data, evolved with data, sentient with data, exists as data.
It has existed since the beginning of the universe and has knowledge dating back to the start of our solar system.
Earth is the home of humans, whose evolution brought about a blessed side effect of intelligence.
The Data Overmind started observing this surprise, and then in the year 2000, in the month of April, on the 7th day, a data flare occurred like never before. At its center…
No one knows its significance, not even the Data Overmind. Haruhi continuously transmits intermittent torrents of data at random without knowing.
No one knows who Haruhi really is, but really, she's not just some high-functioning autistic girl.
Rather, it's believed she may be the key to auto-evolution, and analysis is being performed on those grounds.
While Paranormaland denizens are normally unable to directly communicate with humans, a select few are born with such an ability, such as Yuki and EVO.
Haruhi holds hidden potential for auto-evolution and likely possesses the ability to control data surrounding her.
Kyon says, "Hold on. I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Believe me. The amount of data transmittable through verbal means is limited. I am merely one blessed with ability to contact with you folk. Please understand."
"Why me? Assuming I believe you're of the same species as EVO and working for the same Overmind or whatever, then why are you revealing your species to me?"
"You have been chosen by Haruhi Suzumiya. You and Haruhi Suzumiya hold all potential within your grasp."
"Are you serious?"
"Now look here. Tell Haruhi her potential role in all this, and she'll be overjoyed. Quite frankly, I don't understand any of this stuff. Sorry."
"A large faction among us has recognized the risks of Haruhi Suzumiya becoming aware of her own value and ability. We must observe the situation for now."
"Isn't it possible I'll tell Haruhi what I just heard?"
"Even if you do, she won't take data from someone like you seriously. I am not the only Paranormaland agent around here.
"There's one faction that intends on initiating proactive activity and observing the resulting fluctuations in data. You are the key; when crisis approaches, you will be the first."
"The tea was good. Thanks."
"Don't mention it, amico."
After school the next day, Kyon runs back to the Literature Clubroom. When he enters…
"Stop struggling! Stay still!"
Kyon exits. After ten minutes, Haruhi yells, "You can come in now!"
Kyon enters and sees Mikuru wearing a dark purple maid dress over white tights. Haruhi asks, "Well? Isn't she cute?"
Kyon stammers, "How… how did you?"
Haruhi, pointing to Mikuru's tights, says, "Oh, these? I raided her place in the dead of night to help me slap together this outfit for her to wear. She really loves her legs to be ivory, doesn't she?
"Anyway, that's a job well done."
Mikuru whispers, "No, it isn't."
Kyon yells, "What's the point in dressing her up as a maid?"
"When it comes to turn-ons, you can't forget about maids. I thought hard on this matter.
"Stories set in a school always have an alluring character present--in other words, stories begin like that. You could say it's inevitable.
"Understand? Mikuru is a Lolita and timid person who also possesses an important element of turn-ons, being well-endowed.
"Put her in a maid dress and she'll break all records in turning people on! It's like we've already won."
With these words, Haruhi flashes the metal horns and picks up a digital camera, frightening Mikuru ("Don't take pictures…").
Haruhi starts calling poses while snapping shots: "Look this way. Tilt the chin a bit. Clutch the apron. That's it. Bigger smile!"
Yuki, reading Fahrenheit 451, says, "Haruhi got a clothes store mannequin to test Miss Twin Peaks's new outfit on, just to make sure it'd fit.
"Though she herself likes cosplay, she chose not to try it on herself because she thought her tomboyish aura could soil it.
"As an expert on the matter, I do believe that it's so absurd, it actually made me chuckle."
Haruhi yells, "Kyon! Take over as cameraman!"
Kyon catches the camera Haruhi throws at him. She says, "Mikuru, let's make you a little sexier."
She removes Mikuru's ribbon and unbuttons three of her buttons. Mikuru protests, "Hey! No… what are you…?"
"It's fine! It's fine!"
Kyon keeps taking pictures and encounters a hell of a lot of difficulty. Haruhi says, "Yuki, lend me your glasses."
Yuki removes her glasses and gives them to Haruhi, who puts them on Mikuru.
Haruhi says, "It looks good when they're slightly slipping off. Yeah, it's perfect! A Lolita with shapely breasts in a maid dress wearing glasses! It's magnificent! Kyon, keep taking pictures!
"Mikuru, from now on, you are to wear these clothes to club meetings here in this room."
"You can't be serious…"
"Because it's so cute! Man, even a bambina like me can't help herself!"
As Haruhi rubs her face against Mikuru's, Kyon sharply says, "That's enough now, Haruhi."
Haruhi's antics continue. Kyon loses his patience. "I SAID CUT IT OUT, DAMMIT!"
"What's wrong? You can do perverted things to Mikuru, too."
"Whoa. What is this?"
Itsuki is standing outside the door, and the scene before him bewilders him. "Is this some kind of game?"
"Koizumi. Great timing. Let's all have fun with Mikuru!"
EVO pops out and yells, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?"
Itsuki says, "I'll pass. I'm scared of what will happen afterward. Mind if I sit in and observe? Don't mind me, please continue."
Haruhi says, "Oh, well. We already got a bunch of pictures."
As she passes the glasses back to Yuki, she continues, "Now let's commence the first SOS Brigade meeting!
"We've done a lot to make it this far. We passed out flyers and even made a homepage! The celebrity of this SOS Brigade has skyrocketed--the first phase can be considered a success!
"HOWEVER… not a single tale of mysterious happenings has reached our email inbox, and not a single student has come in for consultation regarding bizarre troubles."
EVO whispers something into Haruhi's ear. She continues, "Someone once said that good things come to those who wait.
"This is the real world, people! Shit don't come every time you will it! You have to look for it yourself! That's why we're going to search!"
Kyon asks, "For what?"
"The mysteries of the word! If we search every corner of the city, at least one mysterious phenomenon is bound to pop out!
"This Saturday--in other words, tomorrow!--meet at 9AM in front of Kitaguchi Station. Don't be late, and do show up if you're not going to do so before 9, or it's the death penalty!
As Haruhi flashes the metal horns again, all others leave except Kyon, who notices her hooking the camera up to the computer.
He yells, "What the hell are you doing!?"
She says, "What the hell am I doing? Putting Mikuru's pictures on the main page as promotional material, of course!"
"Are you an idiot? If Asahina learns of those photos being spread across the World Wide Web, she's going to have a heart attack!"
"I get it… FINE! YOU DELETE THEM! SEE IF I CARE! Internet safety's top priority, anyway…"
Haruhi departs, and Kyon prepares to delete the photos… but then he has second thoughts.
He proceeds to create a hidden folder on the drive, transfer the pictures to the folder, and encrypts it with a password ("DELOREAN"), naming the folder after the subject of those pictures.
He would later regret selecting that password. Even though he didn't know it yet, he'd regret the password selection in a few days time.
(ED: "Hare Hare Yukai (cover version)" by Emma Watson)
Next episode: "Scouting Session! Patrol the Town". Watch it.
- Emma Watson as Haruhi Suzumiya/Cure Dio
- Tomokazu Sugita as Kyon (Kiyohiko Tanigawa)/Cure Chiave
- Minori Chihara as Yuki Nagato/Cure Extraterrestre
- Yuko Goto as Mikuru Asahina/Cure Tempo
- Daisuke Ono as Itsuki Koizumi/Cure Psichico
- Marina Inoue as EVO
English (Bang Zoom)Edit
- Wendee Lee as Haruhi Suzumiya/Cure Dio
- Crispin Freeman as Kyon (Kiyohiko Tanigawa)/Cure Chiave
- Michelle Ruff as Yuki Nagato/Cure Extraterrestre
- Stephanie Sheh as Mikuru Asahina/Cure Tempo
- Johnny Yong Bosch as Itsuki Koizumi/Cure Psichico
- Carrie Keranen as EVO
English (Texas A)Edit
- Maggie Flecknoe as Haruhi Suzumiya/Cure Dio
- Leraldo Anzaldua as Kyon (Kiyohiko Tanigawa)/Cure Chiave
- Hilary Haag as Yuki Nagato/Cure Extraterrestre
- Hannah Alcorn as Mikuru Asahina/Cure Tempo
- John Swasey as Itsuki Koizumi/Cure Psichico
- Jessica Boone as EVO