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Rockin' and Rollin' All Classtime

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CONTENT WARNING: MODERATE LANGUAGE IN A VULGAR ANTI-HITLER SONG

(Against a scrolling red background with the Ugly NI, '70s style JuGo, and NHK logo, Takashi Edwards says "This is Public TV For Isuten, on viewer-supported JOTO-TV and JOIT-TV." PUBLIC TV FOR ISUTEN flips in, written in Kanji, along with the Ugly NI and '70s style JuGo.)

A cool 1990 Nissan Skyline pulls up in front of Isuten Junior High.

Out steps Isuzu Watanabe.

After getting out, she walks behind the sports car, opens the back end, and pulls her bass case out. She then closes the back end.

The 1990 Nissan Skyline then drives off.

As she walks toward the school, she has a strange vision: a tour bus is driving along a road when suddenly, it flips over. One man is killed, and most of the other passengers are injured.

She isn't shocked by the vision, since she's been getting it ever since she took up classical music as a bassist.

Shrugging it off, she walks over to the entrance to the third-year building and enters.

Going down the hallways, she goes into class 3M.

There waiting for her are her friends Shugo Kino, a tomboy who gets cast as boys in her drama club's productions, and Taiko Sorano, the daughter of a music producer not unlike Dick Sandwich, who produced albums by Gdansk and Dragonslayer.

Setting her bass case against the wall, she takes her seat.

Little did she know that today's music class would be different in a way she never imagined...


(OP: "Hopscotch of Love" by Lovely and Wild Angels)


Today's episode
"Rockin' and Rollin' All Classtime"


It was a quiet and peaceful lunch. Taiko was eating her ramen in peace. As she was eating, she said to herself, "It's quiet. Too quiet. Quiet enough for me to be within hearing range of Candle Jack."

At that moment, a figure wearing a burlap sack shows up with rope and appears behind Taiko. Suddenly, the figure removes the burlap sack to reveal Shugo. Taiko does a face palm. "What?" Shugo knew Taiko was annoyed. "I was just having some fun."

"You know, Shugo, I really like you," Taiko says before adding quickly, "Most of the time. But seriously, you've got to stop scaring me like that. It just gives me the creeps."

"I know how you feel," Shugo says. "That guy kidnapped Hyosuke Holic before his comeback concert at the Bel Airium. Fortunately, a group of girls known collectively as Pretty Cure showed up to kick some butt and rescue Mr. Holic from the clutches of Candle Jack just in time for the concert to kick off on sched--"

"Careful. If he hears you, he'll kidnap you."

Shugo looks up to see Sakura standing there. "How the hell long have you been standing there, Sakura?" she asks.

Sakura says, "What? I just got here about a few seconds ago."

Shugo says, "I feel like I'm part of a big mission. A mission you and I are a part of, along with your friend Rizuka. A mission that involves saving our world and another."

"Sorry I'm late!"

Isuzu had joined in. "I had a field day trying to lug that cumbersome instrument over to the music room for my extra period. It's music, as you might've guessed."

"Actually," Shugo says, "we haven't been waiting that long."

"Oh, good."

Shugo says, "During a forest hike from Isuten to Oriyama a while back, I noticed a strange-looking Gothic girl in red, black, and blue.

"I asked who the hell she was, but she wouldn't answer. She did, though, try to kill me.

"Her fan, which seems to have been her weapon of choice, was aimed the very same way you see in slasher flicks, only this time it was more realistic.

"She took a swipe at me, and she kept chasing me down. On I ran, Little Miss Slasher right behind me.

"Finally, exhausted from all that running, I collapsed. She had me. She cut into my arm an X. It was only by the skin of my teeth that I was saved from certain death.

"Maybe she thought I was already dead and left me there to rot. I dunno. However, I do know that I found myself in a hospital when I came to. The doctors told my mother that if all went well--which it did--I might be able to play the guitar again."

Sakura says, "Uh... that last part was spoiled by your rather brilliant performance with Hyosuke Holic earlier. I saw it. You were brilliant."

Shugo continues, "Just think, what if the rescue workers found me five minutes later? THEN where would your precious Lovely and Wild Angels be?"

Sakura says, "Which is why I'm glad you managed to recover full use of your arm."

Shugo says, "I've still got the scar, if you want to see."

"Go ahead."

Shugo removes her leather jacket and pulls up her sleeve to reveal an X-shaped scar. Sakura vomits at this grotesque sight.

Shugo says, "Sorry about that, Sakura. Maybe I should've warned you that it was a gruesome sight to behold. I'm telling you, my family is used to that sight, so it doesn't worry them."

Sakura asks, "How do you cover up such a sight?"

Shugo says, "I was given a flesh-colored elbow-length glove to cover it up with. My arm'll never look completely perfect after that incident, but with that glove, it'll look as though there was no blemish to begin with."

Sakura says, "Well, when summer comes along, do me a favor and wear that glove at all times."

"Fair enough," Shugo says. "To make it more convincing, special effects like the ones you see in Terminator 2: Judgment Day--and I'm talking about the Stan Winston-style effects, not the ILM CGI effects--are applied--so my arm looks completely normal--by the school's makeup artist, who I'm friends with."

Isuzu asks, "What's his name?"

Shugo says, "His name is Haruki Korematsu, and his makeup is absolutely stunning if he gets the proper materials. Remember that incident at the start of the last episode?"

Isuzu says, "No. I wasn't there."

Shugo says, "He accidentally got out the aluminum powder instead of aluminum paste. I didn't want my lungs to get coated, so I had him get the right makeup."

"Oh. So that's it."

Shugo says, "Oh, and did I mention that we of Isuten Junior High are more technologically advanced than anyone else in the Tri-Cities, let alone our chief rival, Mizu Junior High?

"One such advancement is the use of digital stereoscopic cameras to record all the drama club's monthly productions. The footage is then edited using 3-D software, which converts the footage to either traditional red/cyan anaglyphic, the green/magenta anaglyphic of TrioScopics, or the yellow/blue anaglyphic of ColorCode.

"Afterwards, the resulting DVDs are sold with 2 pairs of the corresponding 3-D glasses packaged with them."

Sakura is amazed. "Wow... that's just cool."

Shugo says, "I've still got leftovers from all the club's productions I was involved in, if you're interested."

Sakura says, "Thanks. I've been really looking forward to adding to my already extensive Betamax, VHS, LaserDisc, DVD, and BluRay collection."

Shugo says, "All right. I'll get one each of the leftovers and place them in a couple of Kroger bags, with each bag corresponding to the school year these plays were produced. Meet me in the auditorium after school."

"It's a deal!"


After school, Sakura enters the auditorium and walked over to the stage. Shugo shows up one minute later with two full Kroger bags of drama club DVDs, all still shrinkwrapped and with stylized 3-D glasses packaged within them so they wouldn't get mixed up.

Once Sakura takes the bags, she says, "Thanks, Shugo. Wait until Dad sees what I brought home from the generous drama club!"

Shugo says, "I'm pretty damn sure his reaction will be priceless. Now run along."

"Again, thanks!"


Sakura runs home with the two bags and enters.

She places the bags of DVDs in her room and takes them out one by one.

She sees on the shrinkwrap stickers reading "INCLUDES TWO PAIRS OF RED/CYAN 3-D GLASSES", "INCLUDES TWO PAIRS OF TRIOSCOPICS 3-D GLASSES", or "INCLUDES TWO PAIRS OF COLORCODE 3-D GLASSES" depending on the anaglyphic conversion method used. Sakura says to herself, "Wait until Dad sees this."


(Eyecatch 1: Rizuka and Shugo are jamming when Sakura runs past them and grabs the microphone. The PCHM logo appears in the bottom-left corner.)

(Eyecatch 2: The camera goes between Isuzu on her bass and Taiko in her drum kit and stops when Sakura with the microphone is in view. The PCHM logo appears in the bottom-left corner.)


The next day, Isuzu walks to the music room just before her class begins. Looking at the clock, she says, "Y'know, I just wish these classes could go on forever."

The music teacher, a Mr. Gaku Muto, steps in. "OK, class," he says, "today, we're going to play some Mozart pieces. One, two, one, two, three, four..."

The orchestra starts playing. Isuzu doesn't waver one bit even when she's tempted to pluck the strings of her bass.

Yes, Isuzu had always dreamed of playing bass for a rock band, but the bass she was playing was not in mind.

An electric bass was.

Having seen her friend perform as a backup musician for Hyosuke Holic, she was proud of her for rocking hard.

These thoughts crossed her mind as she played her instrument to a Mozart piece.

As the piece concludes, the window breaks as Cure Nirvana is pushed through by an Akumana, which had possessed a nearby STOP sign. Cures Stradlin and Hendrix jump through the broken window.

The entire class is startled by this break-in. Cure Nirvana says, "I hear there's been some excitement with demons possessing mundane objects such as that STOP sign. Don't worry, ladies and gentlemen, we've got this whole situation under control!"

Mr. Muto says, "Good God, look at that injury! Are you sure you're all right?"

Cure Nirvana says, "As Nurse Joy puts it, I'm fighting fit!" And that was despite a gash on her leg caused by some broken glass piercing it.

Mr. Muto is astounded by this strange turn of events. So astounded, in fact, that he actually exclaims "Bloody hell!" in front of the entire class.

Cure Stradlin, meanwhile, is tangled up with the window. Cure Hendrix helps her get her clothes untangled. Stradlin deadpans, "It just so happens that I'm wearing a skirt, unlike you."

Hendrix says, "Must be the way those things move." Then she takes out a pack of coins from Hammerspace and uses rakansen on the STOP sign. It then proceeds to whack her for the effort.

Four random students with violins start playing fast battle music that sounds suspiciously like the Colonel Bogey March. Cure Nirvana says, "Anyone besides myself know the words?"

As Nirvana starts beating the crap out of the STOP sign, she starts singing.

Mr. Muto hears the singing and says, "That reminds me of the time they tried to insert those lyrics into The Bridge on the River Kwai. But the lyrics were rejected for fear of transgressing this Hays Code, this damned Hays Code."

Soon, the tides begin to turn, and Nirvana herself is being pummeled. Rocky and Poppy show up. Isuzu asks, "Why are my friends being beaten senseless by that STOP sign?"

Rocky says, "Long story, but I'll tell you later. Go out into the hallway with this cell phone and swipe the stylus, and the words will come to you." He then throws the stylus-operated cell phone in question to Isuzu, who catches it.

Isuzu steps outside, swipes the stylus across the screen, and shouts, "Pretty Cure Musical Transmutation! Go!"

As she transforms, the girls are trying to pummel that STOP sign. A half minute later, Isuzu steps in and proclaims, "The classically trained musician who adapts herself to rock music, I am Cure Burton!"

Cures Nirvana, Stradlin, Hendrix, and Burton then say, "This is Pretty Cure!"

As the fight resumes, one music student says, "I'm betting 1000 yen on those Pretty Cure girls." Another says, "2000 yen on Pretty Cure!" Yet another says, "3000 yen on Pretty Cure!"

Mr. Muto says, "My, my, this has become a prizefighting competition." He then says, "5000 yen on Pretty Cure!"

The girls are fighting hard. Just when it seems as though her friends are being beaten, Cure Burton says, "I'll take it from here!" Whipping out a bass guitar from Hammerspace, she shouts, "PRETTY CURE BROWN NOTE!"

Of course, the brown note is only a brown note to the monster, who is quickly eliminated.

Zero is watching from afar. He says, "Damn you girls! You're much tougher than I thought. Maybe I'm losing my touch. Or is it because someone else joined your little band?"


At lunch the next day, Isuzu tells Taiko the big news. "Taiko, guess what happened yesterday?"

"I'm all ears," Taiko says.

"Well, to make a long story short," Isuzu says, "I joined Sakura's band, the Lovely and Wild Angels, as its bassist."

"That's wonderful!" Taiko exclaims. "I sure hope I can join."

Sakura says, "Well, we could use a drummer. We've already got a couple of people who can shred those guitars to pieces, including a gifted songwriter. All we need now is a drummer, and my wish to participate in a heavy metal band will come true."

Taiko says, "I'll give it some thought. Congratulations on your expansion!"

Sakura says, "Arigato."

Shugo says, "I really want to see those songs I wrote come to life at the Roxy Recording Studio."

Rizuka says, "I certainly can't wait to start playing those guitar chords."

Isuzu says, "And I'm already itching to play an actual electric bass instead of the acoustic one I play during music class."

Taiko says, "You girls really want a drummer that bad? Here's my card." She then slides a card to each of the girls. "You can contact me any time."

The number on the business card was 555-1656. Sakura asks, "I want to know, why do all the numbers around Isuten start with 555?"

Taiko says, "Probably because one of the Army men who oversaw the building of Isuten played 5 games of Klondike while on vacation in Alaska after World War II, I guess."

The girls all laugh.


(ED: "Raw and Wild" by Lovely and Wild Angels)


(Next episode preview)
TAIKO: I can't wait to join your band, Sakura!
SAKURA: Could you let me record? Your father's a very busy person!
TAIKO: Well, why hasn't anyone contacted me yet?
SAKURA: I just never got around to it, I guess, but I've been thinking about it.
TAIKO: Yeah, well, let me know when you're ready.
SAKURA: Fair enough. Next episode: "The Producer's Daughter"! We're coming live and loaded!

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