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Scouting Session! Patrol the Town

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CONTENT WARNING: MODERATE LANGUAGE AND SOME BLOODY VIOLENCE

Kyon is pedaling furiously on his bike.

He reaches the bank and parks his bike there. He's in quite the rush, because he somehow forgot where he should park a bike.

He runs to Kitaguchi on foot only to meet an irate Haruhi.

She's wearing her Ronnie James Dio T-shirt, rolled-up jean shorts, red tights, and sneakers. "You're late. PENALTY!"

Kyon says, "I did get here before 9, didn't I?"

"That may be, but the last one here gets penalized. That's my rule."

"I don't think you're following any rules concerning punctuality."

"Screw the rules, I make them." With that, Haruhi flashes the metal horns.

Mikuru is wearing a light blue cardigan over white sleeveless dress, white tights, and sandals. Itsuki is wearing a tan blazer over light pink T-shirt, dark blue jeans, and sneakers.

And Yuki is wearing her school uniform.

Haruhi asks, "Shall we?"


(OP: "Bouken Deshou Deshou? (cover version)" by Emma Watson)


Today's episode: "Scouting Session! Patrol the Town"


The SOS Brigade is in the cafe with their drinks.

Having chugged her apricot, Haruhi says, "OK, boys and girls, time to work out our MO as decided by yours truly!

"We split into two groups, one facing the rising sun and the other facing the setting sun, if you get my drift.

"The first to find some strange and mysterious phenomena shall contact the other via cell phone while still searching for more.

"Afterward, we go to the rendezvous point to figure out what's next. Capisce? All right, let's draw."

Haruhi takes five toothpicks, marks two, and holds them toward the group with only the heads sticking out. Kyon and Mikuru draw the marked ones.

Haruhi says, "Hmm… so these are the groups… Kyon, this isn't a date--be serious! Capisce?"

Itsuki asks, "What exactly should we be looking for?"

"Whatever defies common sense, looks suspect, seems mysterious… I guess discovering the location of a space time distortion or a humanoid alien would be good."

"I see. So basically, our mission is to search for aliens, time travelers, and ESPers or any signs they may have left behind? Understood.:

"Yes! You show promise, Koizumi. That's exactly right. Kyon, you should learn from him."

"Shall we?"

Haruhi leaves the bill with Kyon. He mutters, "Yare yare."


"THIS SERIOUSLY ISN'T A DATE! IF YOU GO OFF SOMEWHERE TO PLAY…"

With these words, Haruhi makes a cutting motion across her neck while making a jarring choking noise.

Then she heads east with Yuki and Itsuki. Mikuru asks, "What do we do?"

Kyon says, "Hmm. Well, there's no point in standing here, so why don't we just walk around somewhere?"

"OK."

Kyon and Mikuru walk along a nearby riverbed for no reason. Mikuru says, "This is the first time I've ever walked around like this."

"Like this?"

"All alone with a boy…"

"That's very surprising. You've never gone out with someone before?"

"I haven't."

"Really? But you probably have guys asking you out all the time."

"Well… I can't. I'm not allowed to get involved with anyone. At least, not in this… Kyon, I have something to tell you."

There's a bench near the cherry trees where Mikuru chooses to hold her conversation. "I don't belong in this time plane, but come from further into the future.

"I can't tell you exactly when and from which time plane I come from. I couldn't tell you if I wanted to.

"Information about the future that can revealed to people in the past is severely restricted. I was required to undergo mental conditioning and mandatory hypnotism before boarding the trans-time vehicle.

"Therefore, keep in mind as you listen to me that should I try to say anything beyond what's necessary, I will automatically be blocked."

To put Mikuru's words in a nutshell:

Time isn't continuous, it's accumulated.

Time is like animation in that it's a sequence of still frames given the illusion of continuous movement

In that respect also is time like a flip book.

While breaks do occur from time to time, chances are ultra-slim, thus the illusion of a lack of breaks.

Time travel involves 3D movement across the accumulated time planes.

Mikuru herself is an additional picture.

Time lacks continuity, so any change made by a traveller won't be reflected in the future.

As that fact stands, neither does a scribble across one part of a flip book affect the story.

That river is analog. Time is digital.

Mikuru says, "The reason why I came to this time plane is because…

"Three years ago, a large timequake occurred. My superiors discovered it, and after arriving in the past to investigate, we were shocked.

"No mater how hard we tried, we were unable to go any further back in time. The conclusion was that a large time fault had appeared between time planes.

"But we couldn't figure out why the fault was limited to this time plane. We only learned the possible reason recently."

"The reason being?"

"Haruhi Suzumiya.

"We found her in the center of the time warp. Don't ask how we discovered this; that's classified. But the facts are there: Suzumiya sealed our path to the past."

"I really don't think Haruhi would be capable of something like that."

"We didn't think so either. Truth be told, we're still unable to explain how a single human was able to interfere with time places. It's a mystery.

"And Suzumiya herself is unaware she's doing any of this. She has no idea she caused a timequake. I was sent to observe if any new time variations will appear near Suzumiya.

"Um, I can't think of a good word for it, but it's like surveillance. You probably don't believe any of this."

"Not exactly, but… why are you telling me this?"

"You are the person chosen by Haruhi Suzumiya. I'd say more, but that's classified except what I stated.

"However, you are probably an important person to Suzumiya. Every action she performs has a reason behind it."

"Nagato and Koizumi are…"

"Those people are extremely similar to me. I never would have expected Suzumiya to assemble us in such a precise fashion."

"Do you know what they are, Asahina?"

"That's classified."

"What happens if Haruhi's just left alone?"

"That's classified."

"And wait, if you're from the future, you should know what's going to happen."

"That's classified."

"What will happen if I tell Haruhi everything?"

"That's classified. I'm sorry, but I can't tell you; I don't have the authority right now. It's OK if you don't believe me. I just wanted to let you know. I'm sorry I had to bring this up to you so soon."

"I don't really mind. But can we put this all on hold? Just set the matter of whether or not I believe you aside and put this on hold."

"OK. That's fine. For now. Please continue to act normally around me. I'm counting on you."

"May I ask one thing?"

"What is it?"

"How old are you?"

"That's classified."

Then the phone rings. Kyon answers. He hangs up seconds later. Mikuru asks, "What did Suzumiya say?"

"We're supposed to reassemble, apparently. We'd best hurry; we have until noon."


"Results? Anything?"

Mikuru says, "Nothing."

Haruhi continues, "Were you even looking? Are you damn sure you weren't just wandering around, you two?"

Kyon counters, "What about you? Did you find anything?"

Haruhi is shocked a bit at Kyon's counter but quickly recovers, saying, "Let's have lunch and plan for the afternoon.

"And Kyon, I don't ever want to catch you slacking off during a terrorbyte assault we have to combat, or so help me there will be consequences!"


  • EYECATCHES*

The setting: WcDonald's.

The time: 12:20.

The date: Sunday, May 18, 2003.

The scene: Five teenagers drawing toothpicks.

This time, Mikuru and Yuki switch groups. Haruhi glares at her unmarked toothpick with a very pissed-off look on he face.

She says, "Meet in front of the station at four--and you'd better find something this time!"

Haruhi finishes her shake.


Kyon and Yuki are left by the party going north. The two would search the south side. Kyon asks, "What do we do? Want to get going?"

The two start walking south. "Nagato, about what you said the other day…"

"What?"

"I've started to feel a little like I can believe you."

"I see."

"Yeah. Don't you have any normal clothes? What do you usually do on days off? Are you having fun right now?"

The two reach the new library.


Meanwhile, Haruhi's party is outside a theatre. Haruhi notices a nearby poster for Tchaikovsky's Sleeping Beauty.

Haruhi says, "It's the same ballet that moron tried to take me to a while back! I have a schedule to keep, so let's move on!"

Mikuru and Itsuki follow Haruhi toward a nearby parked car. Haruhi says, "I wonder if this is a ripe target for repos…"

EVO pops out from under Mikuru and says, "Um, Haruhi, I hope I'm not interrupting anything…"

Haruhi yells, "Hey, you were looking up Mikuru's skirt! You pervert!"

"Now's not the time! Look!"

Haruhi recognizes the shape. "TERRORBYTE!"

Mikuru yelps, and Haruhi looks at her watch. "4:25. I sure hope Kyon's not fooling around at this time. Let's take this bug on!"

The three yell, "Pretty Cure! Paranormal Power-Up!"

As Haruhi transforms, her hair lengthens back to its original length and turns a lighter shade of brown, called chocolate. Her yellow hair ribbon is retained.

We see a red frilly top appear, similar to that worn by Cure Black. A red bow appears in front, fastened by a gold clasp.

As the camera moves down, jean shorts form on her, followed by short wrist-length white gloves.

As she moves her hands up her legs, red thigh-high stockings appear. Finally, white boots appear on her feet.

As Mikuru transforms, her hair grows longer, falling just beyond her waist. It also goes from red to cerise.

A light shines onto her, and a frilly pink dress with a stiff skirt appears. Lace trim appears on the hem, and a pink bow appears on the front, fastened by a silver clasp.

On her hands form white gloves that reach up to her elbows, and pink boots appear halfway up to her knees.

As Itsuki transforms, his hair goes a shade of purple, called byzantium. The rest of his transformation resembles that of a Power Ranger.

By the time it's over, he's wearing a purple jumpsuit with silver trim, a purple helmet with black visor, a silver vest, a black belt, short purple gloves, and short purple boots.

"The God Cure is the protector of the universe! Emissary of light, I am Cure Dio!"

"The Time Cure is the ticktockwoman of the universe! Emissary of light, I am Cure Tempo!"

"The Psychic Cure is the medium of the universe! Emissary of light, I am Cure Psichico!"

Cure Dio performs a backflip and lands on her feet, and Cure Tempo walks gracefully a few steps.

As Dio displays the metal horns and Cure Psichico strikes a Super Sentai-esque pose, the three proclaim, "SOS! Pretty Cure!"


Meanwhile, Kyon and Yuki are browsing the library.

Kyon is bored, but Yuki is having the time of her life (never mind that she may not be looking it at the time).

Kyon locates Yuki reading a very thick book.

Eventually, he dozes off.


The Cures are having a hard time against the Ujasukus. Cure Dio herself has taken a bit of punishment during the fight.

Cure Dio snarls under her breath, "Where in hell's name IS Kyon!?"

She takes her cell phone. The time reads 4:30.


Kyon feels his cell phone vibrating unexpectedly.

People are looking at him, so he scurries out of the library and answers.

"DO YOU REALIZE WHAT TIME IT IS NOW, YOU PUNK!?"

Kyon says, "Sorry. I just woke up."

"WHAT!? YOU DUMBASS! GET YOUR ASS OVER TO THE THEATRE AT THE NORTH SIDE! YOU GOT 30 SECONDS! CAPISCE!?"

Cure Dio hangs up, and Kyon runs into the library. He can't get Yuki to budge without her book, so he gets a library card so she can check it out.

All while Cure Dio is abusing his number left and right, to hell and back, like there's no tomorrow.


By the time Kyon and Yuki reach the theatre, the Cures are thoroughly beaten. Only Cures Tempo and Psichico are still standing.

Cure Dio is lying bleeding on the concrete, having been mortally wounded. Amidst the blood coming out of her mouth, she yells in Kyon's direction, "Late again? PENALTY!"

Yuki walks up to a dying Cure Dio and picks her up, taking her into a secluded area. Cure Psichico says, "I truly am worried. It's up to you now, Kyon."

Kyon yells, "Pretty Cure! Paranormal Power-Up!"

As Kyon transforms, his hair lengthens a bit and gains a red tint to it (though not becoming completely red).

Lasers wrap around him to form a similar top to what Cure Dio is wearing, only colored brown and sans bow, and also with edgier shoulder pads, as well as dark brown shorts.

Short brown boots form around his feet, and a red visor appears over his eyes.

"The Key Cure is the password of the universe! Emissary of light, I am Cure Chiave!"

With his arm outstretched and palm open, he proclaims, "SOS! Pretty Cure!"

Cure Chiave, thoroughly pissed, aims his hands toward the terrorbyte. "Spiriti cattivi andatevene, perche io vi schiaccerò! PRETTY CURE LASER CHAIN ENCIRCLE!"

With these words, FRICKING LASER BEAMS shoot out of his hands and blow up the terrorbyte, which is vaporized instantly as the lasers circle around the terrorbyte and collapse around it.

Yuki returns with Cure Dio, who's in considerably better health than when she was removed from the scene.

The only thing wrong with her is a blatant limp and a sour mood.


At the end of the day, everyone is gathered at Kitaguchi Station.

Mikuru says, "I'm exhausted. Suzumiya walked really fast. It was all I could do to keep up. Thank you for listening to what I had to say today."

Mikuru then leaves. Itsuki says, "Today was quite fun. Indeed, Suzumiya is every bit as interesting as I expected.

"I regret that I was unable to be in a group with you today. Perhaps another time."

Itsuki then leaves. Haruhi limps up to Kyon and grabs him by the shirtfront. "What exactly were you doing today!?"

"Beats me. What exactly was I doing?"

"That kind of mindset won't do! And why were you so slow in coming to the fight? Don't you know I could've died!?"

"Then what about you? Did you discover anything interesting? Of course, they're not careless enough to let you find them in one day."

"The day after tomorrow, we're holding a review of today's behavior."

Haruhi limps away.


(ED: "Hare Hare Yukai (cover version)" by Emma Watson)


Next episode: "A Watcher Snaps! Now That Was Unexpected". Watch it.

Voice actorsEdit

JapaneseEdit

English (Bang Zoom)Edit

English (Texas A)Edit

English (Texas B)Edit

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