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The Producer's Daughter

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CONTENT WARNING: BRIEF STRONG LANGUAGE

(Against a scrolling red background with the Ugly NI, '70s style JuGo, and NHK logo, Takashi Edwards says "This is Public TV For Isuten, on viewer-supported JOTO-TV and JOIT-TV." PUBLIC TV FOR ISUTEN flips in, written in Kanji, along with the Ugly NI and '70s style JuGo.)

At home, Sakura takes a DVD of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya: A Comedy in Seven Acts out of the bag labeled 2009-2010, puts on the red/cyan anaglyphic 3-D glasses, and loads the DVD into the XBox.

At once, a red curtain appears. Shugo Kino emerges to give the opening monologue: "An' I was asked about the length of my / Belief in Father Christmas, which to I / Is but a naughty topic ne'er brought up, / Then I would say I ne'er believed in him..."

At once, Sakura is drawn to Shugo's charisma as Kyon. On the screen, Shugo delivered the monologue like she really meant it.

She reminds herself, though, that Kyon wasn't the one who would hog the spotlight.

That would fit the description of Haruhi Suzumiya.

After Shugo finishes her monologue, she steps back in through the curtains. The camera then pans away to reveal that the stage was designed so that audiences would be able to view from three sides.

The curtains open, and several actors and actresses, including Shugo and the actor playing Haruhi, Mitsuuru Takahashi, step onto the stage and take their places.

As Sakura continues to watch, Mr. Takahashi impresses her with his uncanny performance. She is clearly awestruck by the fact that he'd be so convincing as Ms. Suzumiya.


(OP: "Hopscotch of Love" by Lovely and Wild Angels)


Today's episode
"The Producer's Daughter"


"YOU WERE AMAZING!"

Sakura runs up to Mitsuuru Takahashi and hugs him like there's no tomorrow. He just asks, "What are you talking about?"

"Your performance in The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya: A Comedy in Seven Acts," Sakura says.

Mitsuuru asks, "Aren't you a new student?" Sakura says, "Yes, but your fearless leader, Ms. Shugo Kino, was charitable enough to give me a DVD of the play."

Mitsuuru just says, "I guess the customer is always right."

He then goes on to ask, "Have you watched my other performances yet?" Sakura says, "I haven't had the time. That play was kinda long for a DVD."

"Ever heard of a magical little thing called dual-layer discs?" Mitsuuru asks.

He then goes on to ramble about DVDs and their running times: "All DVDs are encoded with MPEG-2. That may have been nice compared to LaserDiscs, analog 12" discs that are limited to 30 minutes a side for Constant Angular Velocity or 60 minutes a side for Constant Linear Velocity, but there was a catch.

"You see, the 120-minute running time alloted for a disc encoded with MPEG-2 severely hampered a major studio's ability to put an entire feature on one disc--or, at least, one side of one disc--when said feature surpassed 120 minutes like Gone With the Wind did.

"So, they invented dual-layer DVDs.

"Dual-layer DVDs increase the running time per side to 4 hours, or 240 minutes, by adding a second layer to the disc so it can have up to 8 hours, or 480 minutes, on a single disc that spans two sides."

"Impressive!" Sakura exclaims. "That's how I have every episode of Futari wa Hearty Pure: The Complete First Season on a 5-disc box set I got for Christmas last year."

Mitsuuru says, "Oh, how the magic of technology amazes those who are new to a technologically advanced school like this one."

Sakura says, "I never cease to be amazed."

Mitsuuru says, "By the way, it's nearly class time." Sakura takes one look at the clock and says, "Oh my God, you're right!" She then takes a dash for room 3D.


Sakura barely makes it into the classroom on time. She takes her seat beside Rizuka Kuno. She takes a look to her left and notices someone she'd never seen before. "Who the hell are you?" she asks.

The guy wearing the officer's cap asks, "Must you be rude?" He then adds, "The name's Kato Warando. I just transferred here after being kicked out of my last school for an incident involving coke."

Sakura's eyes widen. "Oh my God," she gasps. "You do drugs?"

"A little," Kato says, "but that's not the theme of today's episode. Today's episode will instead focus on your big day at the Roxy Recording Studio.

"Anyway, I'm currently a member of the grunge act Rock Temple Pirates. There's tension in the group, which could mean a split that could cause the shit to hit the fan."

"Warando!" Coach Miyazaki snaps. "I know you want to sound cool, but the free speech zone at this school is near the dumpster. If you want to use foul language, use it there!"

"Gomen nasai," Kato says. "Jeez," Sakura says, "you should be careful what you say when a teacher's present."

"I know," Kato says. "I just find the sound of those words to be irresistable."

Sakura says, "Well, as Coach Miyazaki says, there's a time and place for everything, and this is not it, so shut your trap and start learning for a change."

The two remain silent for the rest of the class.


At lunch, Sakura expresses what she thought of her class today. She says, "Someone else has come into this school. He's a real sailor-mouth who wears an officer's cap and is a member of his own band."

Taiko asks, "What is it?" Sakura says, "Three words: Rock Temple Pirates."

Taiko asks, "What are you going to call your band? Is the name, like, gonna be complicated or simple?"

Sakura says, "Like I said, the band I'm forming is called the Lovely and Wild Angels. The sound will be influenced by Pistols N Flowers, which Shugo and I are fans of."

Shugo says, "I'm supplying the majority of the songs for our debut album, including Hopscotch of Love and Raw and Wild."

Taiko says, "They're such good songs! I could supply a beat for them."

Sakura is baffled: "Say what?"

Taiko says, "I play the drums as a hobby. My dad got me a drum kit for my 6th birthday, and I've been playing the beats to well-known songs ever since."

Sakura says, "Just what my band needs! I'll make sure you get a spot in my band."

Taiko says, "Arigato."

Rizuka asks, "Sakura, are you developing feelings for this Warando kid? If you are, I hope he doesn't introduce you to hard drugs."

Sakura says, "Don't worry, it's not like I'll be dancing with Mr. Brownstone because of him--if I do, which I won't."

Rizuka says, "This isn't a Very Special Episode, so this isn't the time to be conversing about it."

Sakura says, "It would be unlike me to bring up such a topic until its time."

Isuzu says, "Wait a minute. So out of the blue, a grunge guy shows up here as a student? Seriously, that guy isn't the least bit entertaining with his bad habits. I had him last period, and his language disgusted me, as it did the rest of the class."

Sakura says, "I guess it's too much to say he got ISS for his language?" Isuzu says, "He merely got a detention. And on his first day here too! God, those grunge artists are getting worse with youth..."

Sakura says, "Cheer up. I can reform him." Isuzu asks, "How?" Sakura says, "In the event that his band breaks up, I'll remind him that it's because of his bad habits, and maybe he'll change."

Shugo says, "Well, that's one way to get the crap beaten out of you, but it's worth trying."

Sakura says, "You're right, Shugo. But I'm used to danger, so it'll be no biggie should I actually get injured."

Taiko says, "Uh, girls... about this episode..."

Sakura turns and asks, "What is it?"

Taiko says, "I'm supposed to see you help out with Venezuelan Democracy by Pistols N Flowers, right?"

Sakura takes the episode list out of her leather jacket pocket, takes one look, and says, "I guess so."

Shugo says, "This school just recently got some hellacious BluRay equipment so we can put out our plays in hi-def. Hopefully it'll bring in some hefty money for the drama club."

Sakura says, "Better not be too greedy..."

Shugo says, "I'm not. I just want to support my club as much as possible, especially with all the elaborateness of these productions."

Sakura says, "My dad's income is spacious enough for entertainment, and I'd love to see your plays in hi-def, with hi-def picture and hi-def sound."

Shugo says, "Wow, you're into BluRay. I'm into Spanish-language VHs tapes, including Disney tapes like La bella y la bestia, Dumbo, Alicia en el país de las maravillas, Los tres caballeros, and Aladín."

Sakura asks, "Are you fluent in Spanish?"

Shugo says, "I'm still learning, but I'm already in my third year, so hopefully I'll be fluent before I go to high school."

Sakura asks, "What productions are currently on your monthly roster?"

Shugo says, "So far, The Wizard of Oz and Citizen Kane have been confirmed. We're also getting a Japanese-translated script for a new play that's scheduled to premiere on Broadway this summer."

"What is it?"

Shugo just laughs and says, "It might just be the next best thing to love. Or, it could be another Shakespearean play."

Sakura says, "All bets are on Death Note: The Tragedy of Light Yagami."

Shugo is shocked. "How did you find out about that play?"

Sakura says, "Rizuka told me about it."

Shugo asks, "Rizuka, how did you find out that Death Note was going to be adapted into a play?"

Rizuka says, "I check the Internet daily for the latest scoop on Death Note. My personal favorite is Misa Misa." "Oh."

Shugo says, "Oh, and Sakura... if you see Taiko's father at the Roxy Recording Studio, tell him I said hello."

Sakura says, "I'll tell him about all of you. About the Lovely and Wild Angels. He's going to want to produce our first album."

Taiko says, "I wouldn't be surprised if he did. He's the producer of Venezuelan Democracy."

Sakura says, "I can see it all now: Venezuelan Democracy is banned in Venezuela. Also the Pistols N Flowers album."

Taiko laughs at that lame pun. "Your jokes are so lame they're funny!"

Sakura says, "Arigato. Wanna come with me to see your father?"

Taiko says, "Sure, why not?" Little did she know that she was about to take part in a fight like no other...


(Eyecatch 1: Rizuka and Shugo are jamming when Sakura runs past them and grabs the microphone. The PCHM logo appears in the bottom-left corner.)

(Eyecatch 2: The camera goes between Isuzu on her bass and Taiko in her drum kit and stops when Sakura with the microphone is in view. The PCHM logo appears in the bottom-left corner.)


At the end of the day, Sakura exits the building as usual, but this time she's not alone; one of her friends is accompanying her this time around.

And no points for guessing who that friend is.

During the long walk to the Roxy Recording Studio, Sakura asks Taiko, "What is the most despicable thing that could happen in any of the Tri-Cities?"

Taiko says, "Vandalism. It happened to Nishi Junior High just a couple of years ago. I hear some punks got the bright idea to spraypaint the walls."

Sakura asks, "Were they caught?"

Taiko says, "Pretty much."

Sakura asks, "What was their sentence?"

Taiko says, "Obviously, they had to pay restitution. The students involved were also suspended for the rest of the semester for the effort."

Sakura asks, "What were the things they spraypainted?"

Taiko says, "Stuff such as GO TO HELL, profane remarks, and even an image of Muhammad. I hear the sparse Muslim community rioted when they saw the image in the news."

Sakura says, "Wow. A little bit of Muslims went a long way."

Taiko says, "Yeah, and a cleric demanded the death sentence for the ringleader, who happened to be a 30-year-old career criminal. Remember when he got off with a 10-year prison sentence?"

"No," Sakura says. "I haven't even been in town for that long."

"Right," Taiko says. "Yokohama. Anyway, a Muslim gang went to the jail..."

Here's when she started to sound menacing: "...and lynched him!"

"How?"

Taiko says, "Stoning. They then took the body and tied weights to it. One of the Muslims that had a 1998 Toyota T-100 loaded the body into the cargo area and drove it all the way to Tokyo Bay..."

The menace returned to her voice: "...to cast it into the drink."

Sakura says, "I hear that's where Kodansha disposed of those who refused work from them."

Taiko says, "You heard right. You must've read Sakura Taisen, which had a segment at the end of each volume where Ohji Hiroi tells of his trials and tribulations in writing the manga.

"In volumes 1 and 5, he talks about the whereabouts, if any, of several artists who had refused work from Kodansha. A real terrifying lot those guys at Kodansha are."

"You said it," Sakura says.


The girls finally reach the Roxy Recording Studio. Something catches Taiko's eye, and she walks up to it.

Upon close inspection, she says, "It's a chad."

Sakura says, "Tell me about it."

Taiko says, "Back in World War II, the Brits drew these images of a man peeking over a wall along with captions such as WOT, NO ENGINES? Captions, my friend, which illustrated war-induced shortages."

Sakura asks, "Then why does the text say KILROY WAS HERE?"

Taiko says, "Ah, yes. According to legend, James J. Kilroy was a shipyard inspector who was getting tired of unscrupulous workers trying to get extra pay by moving the chalk marks of other workers.

"So, he got the bright idea to write KILROY WAS HERE to stop that practice. At some point, the chad and the text must've merged."

Sakura says, "Wow. I never knew about this until you told me."

"Ah, there you are, Sakura!"

Sakura and Taiko turn to see W. Benny Bara standing there. Bara asks, "Who is this girl?"

Sakura says, "She's the daughter of the guy that's producing your album."

Bara says, "Really? Well, come on in, girls."


As the girls enter the studio, Bara tells Taiko, "You sure did a hell of a good job spotting Kilroy again."

Sakura asks, "That's what you like to call that chad?"

Bara says, "Hey, that's what graffiti artists like to call chads ever since World War II. He's a funny-looking fellow who peeks over a wall with KILROY WAS HERE inscribed somewhere nearby."

Sakura steps into the recording room. Bara and the producer, a Haruhi Sorano, get ready to start recording her vocals. At the cues of Mr. Sorano, Sakura sings what's on the sheet in tune.

The studio is filled with the latest equipment, and that meant the recording would be digital. Several takes were accomplished before Zero came in.

He then proceeded to possess a nearby megaphone with his Akumana. Mr. Sorano notices the intruder and says, "Hey, Candle Jack, you have no right to be h--"

Before he could complete his sentence, the megaphone blows up the glass and sends shards flying at him. Both he and Bara duck and thus manage to escape unharmed.

Sakura whips her cell phone out and dials Rizuka's number. "Moshimoshi? This is Sakura. We're being attacked. Come quickly!"

Taiko takes her own cell phone out and dials Shugo's number. "Moshimoshi? This is Taiko. Is Isuzu there? Bring her to the Roxy Recording Studio stat!"

Sakura retreats to a nearby room to transform into Cure Nirvana. Meanwhlie, Taiko runs outside awaiting her friends.

And come they do. First Cure Stradlin and then Cures Hendrix and Burton show up. "Oh good, you came!" Taiko exclaims with relief.

The Cures rush into the studio as Rocky and Poppy hurry out. Rocky tosses Taiko a stylus-operated cell phone, and she says, "I've seen previous episodes enough times to know what to do next."

She then proceeds to swipe the stylus across the screen and shout, "Pretty Cure Musical Transmutation! Go!"


Meanwhile, the four Cures are taking turns attacking the megaphone. Cures Nirvana and Hendrix had brought coins along so they could use rakansen like they had done before.

As Cure Hendrix depletes her supply of coins and is preparing to pick them back up to use again, the new Cure stepss in and proclaims, "The deadly drummer angel, I am Cure Roadie!"

Cures Nirvana, Stradlin, Hendrix, Burton, and Roadie then say, "This is Pretty Cure!"

Zero is amused. "So the final member of this famous Pretty Cure has arrived. What a pleasant surprise."

Cure Nirvana says, "Hardly a surprise, Candle Jack, and it will be pleasant for n--"

Before she could complete her sentence, Zero decks her in the chin. The force sent her falling backwards.

Cure Hendrix shouts, "How dare you assault a friend!" She then uses rakansen on Zero.

Hendrix then turns to Cure Roadie and shouts, "Quick, Taiko! Send that demon packing!"

Hendrix takes cymbals out of Hammerspace and shouts, "PRETTY CURE CYMBAL CRASH!" The sound of those cymbals crashing eliminates the monster.

Zero, seeing himself outpowered, runs away with his tail between his legs.


After these events, Taiko says, "OK, I'm definitely joining your band."

"Good choice!" Sakura exclaims. "I knew you'd join the Lovely and Wild Angels sooner or later."

Taiko smiles and says, "I know."

Rizuka then says, "Tell me, what is that graffiti called? I've seen it before, but I can't seem to figure it out."

Sakura says, "It's a chad. This particular chad, like most chads since World War II, comes with the ever-popular slogan KILROY WAS HERE."

Isuzu asks, "Who is this Kilroy?"

Sakura says, "You sound just like the Man of Steel."

"Who, Stalin?"

Sakura says, "Yeah, legend has it he saw the graffiti etched into an outhouse at Potsdam in 1945."

Everyone laughs.


(ED: "Raw and Wild" by Lovely and Wild Angels)


(Next episode preview)
TAIKO: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
SAKURA: What is it?
TAIKO: My greatest fear... come true...
SAKURA: Why the panic?
TAIKO: Vandalism... at Isuten Junior High!
SAKURA: Don't worry, Taiko, I'll get right on to investigating it! Next episode: "A View to a Vandalism"! We're coming live and loaded!

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