CONTENT WARNING: MARTIAL ARTS VIOLENCE AND SOME LANGUAGE. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
The challenge came on the first day of school, finding its way into Ryan Lee's shoe locker.
He read through that letter and was visibly upset. "You son of a bitch, you've come back to wreak your vengeance…"
Susan, Kelly, and Rica were leaning over his shoulder. Rica asked, "Can it really be true?"
"Unfortunately, yes. Thirteen has returned."
Kelly sighed in annoyance and said, "And I thought we'd make it through the first day of the new term without incident…"
Susan said, "I knew this day would come… I just never expected it to come so soon…"
Ryan said, "We have no choice but to confront him. Town square, high noon, Sunday, in the clothes we wore the last time we met. I hope we'll be able to work him over thoroughly this time…"
OP: "Danzen! Futari wa Pretty Cure Dragon ~hybrid version~"
"Tredici contrattacca - Thirteen Strikes Back"
It began as a regular holiday break.
Ryan, Susan, Rica, and Kelly were opening presents under the tree at the Chan residence.
Ryan's parents were also present, as well as those of Rica and Kelly. Susan's mother also had presents prepared for them.
As the last present was opened, Rica yelled, "Peace on Earth, ladies and germs!"
As everyone got in front of the camera for a "family and friends" picture, Rica said, "Now smile for the camera, limey!"
Even Susan and Kelly had a lot of fun playing in the snow.
That's not, of course, to say they never showed interest before. It's just that Ryan and Rica had the most fun.
Rica, for instance, managed to pelt Kelly with a snowball. Kelly prepared to throw a bigger one at her. Ryan threw a coin right by Kelly's head. It startled her so much she dropped the snowball on herself.
Susan joined in the fun and pelted Ryan. Rica said, "Never mess with the snow queen."
Later, Susan and Kelly were making a snowman. Ryan and Rica were making their own not too far away. Rica took Ryan's scarf and put it on the snowman. Kelly jabbed a couple of holes into her snowman's head and inserted a pair of shuriken. Susan stuck a blue sphere in as a nose. "It looks just perfect, doesn't it?"
Kelly took a metal spoon and put it under the sphere into its mouth. "Now it does."
Between it all, they also had time to do some sparring together.
At one point, Ryan and Rica were paired together for a round of martial rhythmic gymnastics, as were Susan and Kelly.
Ryan noted, "You're all bundled up today, Rica."
Rica said, "Well, yeah; the weather outside is frightful, but what we're about to do is so delightful. Why else would I be wearing sweats? Why don't you have any insulation apart from girls' tights?"
"Because I feel more comfortable that way during such matches."
"Right, well… have at thee!"
The two then launched their ribbons at each other. Lots of leaps, twirls and the like ensued. Susan and Kelly went at each other in a similar manner.
After about a couple minutes of this, Kelly said, "I don't think I was trained well enough with martial rhythmic gymnastics. Let's try some karate."
Susan said, "I must warn you, I only know ryukyu."
Kelly said, "What a coincidence! I know ryukyu too, and so do Ryan and Rica!"
Each pair went at each other.
Dressed in her martial arts gi, Rica yelled, "OK, limey, I'm ready!"
Ryan said, "And action!"
Rica started punching at his GoPro 3D Kit that he got for Christmas. "Not too close, Rica! Be careful you don't get within five feet of this stereoscopic setup!"
"I'm trying! Really, I am!"
The session continued as Ryan backed away as appropriate. He wound up stumbling into the back of a mailbox after half a minute of it, and he was forced to duck to avoid Rica getting her fists too close to the 3D kit.
"Whoa! I guess I got a bit close to your cameras. Sorry!"
"More my fault; I wasn't mindful of my surroundings this time."
"Oh. I guess you've been out of action the whole holiday break. You and Susan both."
"At least my reflexes are still up to speed."
"Thank your lucky stars for that."
"Speaking of which, I wonder if Susan will put on a performance in 3D…"
Indeed, Susan performed a floor routine for the 3D camera setup.
The floor routine was set to a recording of the theme from The Eiger Sanction. She was clad in her winter gymnastics uniform for the occasion.
Ryan, Kelly, and Rica stayed behind the camera. After the performance was finished, they applauded. Ryan said, "You did a bloody good job, Susan!"
Susan curtsied and said, "Thanks."
Rica said, "Go ahead and check to see if your cameras have ProTune on them."
Ryan went through the settings. He said, "No, I don't see ProTune on either camera."
"Good. ProTune causes a shitload of problems when it shows up on any GoPro camera. Those with ProTune on it have been known to freeze! Your only hope then is to remove the freaking battery."
Kelly asked, "How do you know all that?"
Rica said, "I heard something sketchy about those cameras, and I checked the Internet to verify those sketchy rumours. Turns out, the rumours are true."
Ryan said, "Thanks for the tip."
Rica said, "You're quite welcome, amigo."
Using his new laptop, Ryan uploaded the footage he had captured and combined the left eye and right eye images.
He, Susan, Rica, and Kelly, all wearing their own 3D glasses, viewed the footage. It looked marvelous. Kelly said, "You should try capturing some footage of me sparring with Susan some time."
Ryan said, "Any time, any place. You name it."
Dressed in their respective gi, Susan and Kelly went at each other in front of Ryan's 3D kit.
After about a minute, they stopped. Kelly said, "Susan, you should try drinking some Monsterade some time. It's a very good sports drink."
She then gave Susan a bottle. Susan proceeded to drink out of it. Rica said, "Monsterade. When you want to refresh yourself after some martial arts sparring. Lisa swears by it."
Ryan said, "So do I."
He then drank out of his own bottle of Monsterade.
Back in the present day, Ryan, Susan, Rica, and Kelly were waiting for Thirteen to show up at the town square.
Ryan was in his Makie Sasaki cosplay, Susan was in her Misako Ishijima cosplay, Rica was wearing the Fujiyama uniform, and Kelly was in her casual clothes.
Susan looked at her watch. "11:59," she said. "He should be here in about a minute."
Less than a minute passed before high noon came along, and Thirteen with it. "Ah, I see you're early today," he said. "Let's pick up where we left off on the so-called Mayan Doomsday… Pretty Cure."
Ryan said, "Fine by me."
Thirteen opened the suitcase he brought with him. It glowed inside. Rica asked, "Just how the hell many of those Pulp Fiction suitcases are there, anyway?"
Thirteen said, "Don't worry, I'm only putting a hemispherical barrier over us, so nobody can get in… and nobody can get out."
Kelly said, "Oh, shit…"
"If you want to get out alive, you'll have to defeat me in combat."
Ryan said, "I'm more than ready to kill you after what you almost did on the 21st of December!"
"UH-UH-UH. I didn't say MORTAL combat, now, did I?"
"Then have at you! The crossdresser and his dark-haired lady friend first!"
Ryan yelled, "HOW DARE YOU!"
He threw a hard punch at Thirteen. "What's the matter? Can't throw a punch as well as the crossdresser?"
Susan yelled, "YOU DARE MAKE MY FEMININITY MORE PROMINENT THAN MY INNER STRENGTH!?"
With these words, she slammed her foot into Thirteen's gut. "Do the bodyguard and the tomboy have anything else they want to add to that?"
Kelly said, "Yeah… I'd be the bodyguard!"
She and Rica went at Thirteen simultaneously. Rica said, "As of right now, Thirteen, your ass is grass, and Pretty Cure's the lawnmower!"
Ryan, Susan, and Kelly readied their transformers. "Dual fighting spirit!"
"Bodyguard, come forth!"
"The golden warrior, I am Cure Dragon!"
"The silver warrior, I am Cure Fortune!"
"Together we're Pretty Cure!"
"Evil warriors of ill fortune…"
"We shall send you packing!"
"Protecting my friends, I am Cure Fang! Let those who worship evil's might beware my power! The bodyguard's light!"
Rica said, "I was wondering where you had those transformers!"
Cure Dragon said, "Never leave the dormitory without them."
Cure Fortune said, "Now, if you'll excuse us, we have an evil overlord to defeat."
The two then attacked Thirteen head-on. The melee lasted a couple of minutes. Then, just as Thirteen was about to recover from the injuries he had incurred…
"Time to spread the word, melonfarmer," Cure Fang said, "and the word is Ezekiel 25:17.
"The path of the righteous man and defender is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper, and the father of lost children.
"And I will execute great vengeance upon thee with furious anger, you who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers and sisters; and you will know that I am Chiba the Bodyguard when I lay my vengeance upon thee!
"PRETTY CURE! LIGHT OF JUSTICE!"
FLASH! went the blinding light. The force field began to weaken. "Time to send him packing!"
"SILVER THUNDER! We who are different as day and night…"
"Do join together and combine our might!"
"PRETTY CURE METAL PUNCH!"
The force field was utterly destroyed as Thirteen was sent flying.
Upon detransforming, Ryan, Susan, and Kelly accompanied Rica back to the school. "Our business is done here, you three. Let's try to enjoy the rest of our day off in peace."
Principal Mazda and Mina were in conversation about what had happened.
"So Thirteen has dared show his face again?"
Mina said, "He has picked the wrong time to do so."
"We should all be watchful of him, to make sure he doesn't try to kill anyone… us, my students, or even Pretty Cure."
"What would happen if Pretty Cure were to be destroyed?"
"The world would end."
"I know. That is why we've got to stop him… before it's too late."
"You may go."
Mina bowed before leaving. Principal Mazda phoned up Goemon Ishikawa.
"This is Goemon Ishikawa speaking."
"Listen: we've got a problem."
"The unluckiest kind: Thirteen has returned."
"Yes. It'll be bad news for all of us if he were to be allowed to continue issuing letters of challenge to Pretty Cure. So I hope Pretty Cure stops him for all time."
"I see. Allow me to help them next time."
"Feel free. I'll let you know if they receive any more letters of challenge."
"See you later."
Principal Mazda hung up.
ED: "Anataboshi (When I Come to Your Star with My Love)"
Next episode: "Goemon contra Tredici - Goemon vs. Thirteen"
- Yuki Tokiwa as Hiroshi Lee/Cure Dragon
- Nana Mizuki as Ran Chan/Cure Fortune
- Mariko Kouda as Kaori Chiba/Cure Fang
- Tetsuo Goto as Shiban
- Mami Koyama as Minako Takada/Cure Dragon I
- Chika Sakamoto as Principal Emi Matsuda/Cure Fortune I
- Miyuki Sawashiro as Rica Watanabe
- Masashi Ishibashi as Goemon Ishikawa
- Rupert Grint as Ryan Lee/Cure Dragon
- Britt McKillip as Susan Chan/Cure Fortune
- Cyndy Preston as Kelly Chiba/Cure Fang
- Matthew Wood as Thirteen
- Edie Mirman as Mina Takada/Cure Dragon I
- Gemma Jones as Principal Emmy Mazda/Cure Fortune I
- Chloe Grace Moretz as Rica Watson
- Richard Cansino as Goemon Ishikawa